[krisakira]

One of my past abusers is my dad. Well his birthday is today, and I have hardly any kind of relationship with him now that I am older and know that what he did was wrong. My mom is my other abuser but she admitted to it and we were able to have a relationship, now it is a good one. But I refuse to communicate with my dad, because I don't believe he deserves to have me as a daughter, if he even wants me anyway. He never tries to communicate anyway. Well I did not want to mail him a card this year, because last year I emailed him a video I put together for him, and I got no reply back about it, not even an email saying he got it and thanks, or a phone call. So, I am just done with it. I decided not to call or email or send him a card. (We live in different states). And now my mom is trying to guilt trip me, saying I need to send him one and that he is sending me money for my birthday. Well send all the money you want dad but you aren't even reaching out to me, just sending me money, that was all he was ever good for anyway. Hey I will take the money, but I am not going to be guilt tripped into communicating him when I have set my boundaries and that is that. I decided that if my dads name is on my birthday card or that somehow the money is tied to his name as well as my moms, then I will send a general "thank you" card back, and that is it.

why do I still doubt that I am in the right

[Onward2wards]

why do I still doubt that I am in the right

Because you have conflicting feelings and rules in your mind, and that's understandable. It's nice to see you are trying to set up good boundaries that work for you.

[Sannah]

I hate one sided relationships too. I don't participate in them.

[happy101]

Originally Posted by krisakira

One of my past abusers is my dad. Well his birthday is today, and I have hardly any kind of relationship with him now that I am older and know that what he did was wrong. My mom is my other abuser but she admitted to it and we were able to have a relationship, now it is a good one. But I refuse to communicate with my dad, because I don't believe he deserves to have me as a daughter, if he even wants me anyway. He never tries to communicate anyway. Well I did not want to mail him a card this year, because last year I emailed him a video I put together for him, and I got no reply back about it, not even an email saying he got it and thanks, or a phone call. So, I am just done with it. I decided not to call or email or send him a card. (We live in different states). And now my mom is trying to guilt trip me, saying I need to send him one and that he is sending me money for my birthday. Well send all the money you want dad but you aren't even reaching out to me, just sending me money, that was all he was ever good for anyway. Hey I will take the money, but I am not going to be guilt tripped into communicating him when I have set my boundaries and that is that. I decided that if my dads name is on my birthday card or that somehow the money is tied to his name as well as my moms, then I will send a general "thank you" card back, and that is it.

why do I still doubt that I am in the right

You are in the right! You are so right.Stick to your boundaries, although its 'lonely' its good for you.Its steps on showing yourself how to love yourself is by looking after yourself or protecting yourself