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#1
Jun 06, 2012, 12:46 PM
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So here's the problem. I'm testing for 1st degree black belt in a few months, and before then I have to write a 5 page paper about my entire life.
 Here's the problem. There are alot of things I could easily just leave out, but some things I don't think I can without alot of lying, which I don't want to do...but I think maybe I should. I don't know how many people will be reading this...maybe it's just my instructor. Maybe it's just all the black belts in my school. Or it could be all the black belts in the 3 schools around here. If that's the case, I have to lie. Right? Alot of these people know my parents, or will still see them sometimes...it would be a bad idea to tell the truth because of that...wouldn't it? But doesn't that make me just like them (my parents)? I was lied to about my life, for my entire life so far...and now I'm lying about my life too. Doesn't that make me just like them? I'm convinced alot of it was my fault anyway, so maybe I should keep it hidden...that will keep anyone else from blaming me for it too. I keep thinking I'll just start writing it and figure it out as I go, but I don't even know where to start since one of the main things I'm trying to figure out whether or not to lie about was VERY early in my life...so I just have no idea what to do...      
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#2
Jun 06, 2012, 02:12 PM
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(((nemo39122)))
Congratulations on reaching the level of black belt! Kudos to you!!  One of my distant uncles is a black belt, but I haven't ever heard of having to write a paper about your life. That seems unusual to me. I wonder why you'd have to do that?  It seems to me that your life wouldn't be open to everyone to see, that just can't be right. Can you call your instructor, and tell him/her that you have a difficult history. Ask if this paper will be shared with anyone else, and who. From there, I'd advise you to share what you feel comfortable sharing. I'd imagine that it's up to you how detailed you want to be. You could say that you had a really difficult childhood, with ___ and ___ occurring. The events gave you the motivation to make yourself strong ~ physically and emotionally. You grew by ____. That's what I'd advise you to do.  Best wishes and congratulations to you!
__________________
"Only in the darkness can you see the stars." - Martin Luther King Jr. "Forgive others not because they deserve forgiveness but because you deserve peace." - Author Unkown Last edited by shezbut; Jun 06, 2012 at 02:12 PM. Reason: mis-spelling |
 Gr3tta, Nemo39122, Open Eyes
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#3
Jun 06, 2012, 03:01 PM
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Nemo, if you choose to leave certain things out, that is not lieing. You have the right to share or not share whatever you feel comfortable with.
(((Hugs))) Open Eyes |
| Nemo39122
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#4
Jun 06, 2012, 03:06 PM
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Hi Nemo,
I would maybe write only what you feel comfortable with anybody reading. Are all the students having to do this project? Take care Kate |
| Nemo39122
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#5
Jun 06, 2012, 03:27 PM
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Nevermind. I'll just lie. Things would get so much worse if they found out I told anyone the truth...
Just forget I ever said anything. |
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#6
Jun 06, 2012, 04:38 PM
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Wowha, wait a miniute, YOU ARE VERY ANGRY HERE. This means something Nemo, and what you are talking about is not lieing, but DENIAL.
Oh, none of us here want to deny you NOR SHOULD YOU DENY YOU. This is not advice on how to PRETEND THIS NEVER HAPPENED HERE. We ABSOLUTELY DO NOT WANT YOU TO DO THAT AT ALL. You absolutely deserve to be heard and VALIDATED. Do you have a therapist Nemo? You need to be validated for bad things that happened to you, never do you deserve to be denied that you were hurt in your past. Oh I would never want you to feel that my advice was about hiding something important to you. I only suggested that if you CHOOSE to not want to share difficult things from your past that it wasn't lieing. This is definitely not about "pretending" something didn't happen, or denying something bad happened. No, you should not deny and if you have anger about this, that means you DON'T FEEL HEARD. And you need to BE HEARD. And believe me, I KNOW THAT ANGER MYSELF. And I HAVE BEEN DENIED AS WELL, so I would never want anyone else to feel it is right to be denied because that is NOT TRUE. And if you really want to TELL THE TRUTH, but you don't want it to be read by everyone, THEN MAKE A SEPARATE "TRUTH" for just your coach to see. Because I think you like this coach and WANT THIS COACH TO KNOW THE TRUTH. And that is fine with me, go for it if you need it. THIS IS ABOUT WHAT YOU NEED AND YOU HAVE THE RIGHT TO ASK FOR WHAT "YOU" NEED. ((((Hugs))) Open Eyes |
| shezbut
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#7
Jun 06, 2012, 05:57 PM
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Quote:
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#8
Jun 06, 2012, 06:05 PM
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Quote:
I agree wholeheartedly with Open Eye's post to you. She put it so perfectly, but I wanted you to know that others agree. You do need and deserve validation! In my opinion, simply thanking a post or offering hugs isn't enough validation. (((hugs))) to you!!
__________________
"Only in the darkness can you see the stars." - Martin Luther King Jr. "Forgive others not because they deserve forgiveness but because you deserve peace." - Author Unkown |
| Open Eyes
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| Reply |
This is an old thread. You probably should not post your reply to it, as the original poster is unlikely to see it.|
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