[tan86]

I was a last child, the only girl and the other were 3 brothers. My dad was irish and drank heavily throughout our upbinging as children. It was the thing to do after coming back from a hard day on the building site. He wasn't violent though, which I have to be thankful for, however he was not very responsible either. My mum was very neglectful, the house was always filthy and our clothes were disgustingly dirty, underwear was hardly ever changed and I always had a case of headlice. Brothers were always getting into trouble for stealing and police often came to raid our house for stolen property and drugs. I remember being 8 years old and having police raid my bedroom, ripping open my teddies and destroying my room looking for drugs. It was terrible going to school as the area I was living in was becoming very middle class. I thank God that the angles where looking over me to protect me against any sexual abuse, there were several times when I can very close to it. I have since moved on in my life as an adult and have a lovely family of my own, however, the effects of my upbringing has been longlasting and I am very withdrawn and striving to pick up on all the messed up education from childhood in my adult life as a result of it.

[Sannah]

Hi Tan, welcome to PC.

[Gr3tta]

hi tan86. sorry you went through such troubles. can relate. hope you are in much better places now. thanks for sharing.

[happy101]

it gets better and better. we all share a terrible and ugly childhood and are slowly recovering.recovery id when we make every day small choices,thats what I do.I also try my best to put myself in safe situations where not many can make fun of me or say mean things.....we all try

[Leed]

Hi Tan ~ I never felt wanted either. There were 4 girls in the family, and the 3rd one (me) and the 4th were "whoops" babies. In other words, we were "mistakes." And none of us felt wanted as we got NO affection or attention at ALL.

That certainly affected me all thru school from elementary thru high school. I was reserved and shy and didn't fit in well with anyone. So my high school years, which SHOULD be fun, we pretty miserable. And I got married at 18 basically to get out of the house. That marriage lasted 26 years but was miserable too, and ended in divorce.

So I know how you feel. I AM glad that you have a great family, but these effects to tend to follow you all thru your life, even tho i've been thru therapy. I wish you the very best. God bless and take care. Hugs, Lee