[ster]

I was abused as a child, When i was on drugs i was an abuser I cannot let myself be free of the guilt I feel and i deserve it I am glad of one thing since i gave up using drugs in 1990 I grew up and have never done that again. I understand some people here are going to be hurt with me saying this. I can never forgive myself for having done what I have done.

[patricia72]

ster,
I know all about abuse....regrets....guilt, etc.
The man I see now is a good man trying very hard...
something I've learned is that if we can't forgive or forget.... we learn to live with those things and move forward.... as you say, one day at a time, I think you are moving in a good direction,
wishing you all the best,
Patricia xxx

[hillbunnyb]

Have you cleaned up after yourself--? Apologized, made restitution? Gotten therapy? Pledged never to do "it" again? Etc??????? If so, stop worrying about forgiving yourself and start giving yourself reasons to think of yourself as a decent person.

Do good now. Whenever you get down on yourself over your past behavior, do good now. Even if it is to smile at a stranger, give a buck to a person who needs it, volunteering at a charity thrift store, visiting a nursing home resident out of the blue...... . Do so much good that even you can see it.

Use your guilt, don't let it use you.

[Rhapsody]

All inner HEALING takes place in time.... mine took years beyond my life spam - and yet I am getting there as I seek (and) YOU will too.

LoVe,
Rhapsody -