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#1
Oct 28, 2012, 05:53 PM
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May
.................................................................................................................................... ........................................................................................................ ......................................................................................................... be...................................................................................................... .......................................................................................................... .......................................................................................................... triggerring. For some reason, I have a history of men being very sexual with me. Even those that didn't touch me, I still had experiences where men would capture my attention for help. I'd stupidly go to their vehicle, where'd they be jerking off! That happened two seperate times before 7th grade. Then, I was 20 years-old and with my bf at my paren't house, in my bedroom. For some reason, I looked at the window to see some peeping Tom standing there watching us. WTF?! The memories bring a deep feeling of major shame and self-hate, despite my relative innocence. UGH! I can't stand how others are speaking up for the right to masturbate. It's human, and a beautiful thing, blah, blah... Have they not experienced moments like these in their lives? Am I merely hypersensitive, due to being sexually abused early in life?? I don't know! 
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"Only in the darkness can you see the stars." - Martin Luther King Jr. "Forgive others not because they deserve forgiveness but because you deserve peace." - Author Unkown |
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#2
Oct 28, 2012, 06:15 PM
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Hi Shezbut.
 I don't blame you a bit for being uncomfortable with the concept of masturbation. It seems, to me, in your lifetime that you've been exposed to masturbation as synonymous with some type of deviant behavior that was upsetting to you (and rightly so...I am so sorry you had to experience these things  ). It's perfectly normal to be made uncomfortable by it, as the concept is going to bring back up the memories...it's a trigger for you. I wouldn't label you as hypersensitive. As far as the masturbation goes...usually, almost always, it's done alone, and in private, and usually a healthy part of one's sexual life. What you've seen is something deviant in which masturbation is merely a part, if that makes any sense. It isn't a fair representation of what it really is...your exposure to it was traumatic, and it's entirely normal to have that shape your views on it. The PEOPLE are what was wrong with what happened to you...not so much the masturbation. Does that make any sense? I'm struggling a little on how to word it. I do hope I was of some help Shezbut. You're in my prayers, and sending hugs. Hugs, Harley
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The world suffers alot. Not because of the violence of bad people, but because of the silence of good people.- Napoleon Bonaparte |
 shezbut
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#3
Oct 29, 2012, 10:45 AM
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Just sounds like you still need to work through these incidents in therapy because they are still triggering you.
__________________
Don't let your problems or the world make you feel small. Stretch your arms out over your head. Take a deep breathe. Tell yourself that you are big. You are big, not small. You always have space, you are not trapped........ I'm an ISFJ |
| shezbut
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