[Feral_Cat_Lover]

My parents emotionally and physically abused me as a kid. They did the same to my sisters.
I completely forgot about my childhood. I blocked it from my memory where I was safe from it. About two months ago, I started to get depressed and have very bad terrifying anxiety. I got put on two antidepressants. My husband and my friends were trying to get me to get to the root of my anxiety. They started asking questions and one question led to a repressed memory, which just opened up the flood gates.
I start therapy on Tuesday. Found out that I'm the only one that has not gone to therapy yet. Just so hurt, angry, depressed and numbed at the same time.

[Open Eyes]

(((Feral Cat Lover))),

I see you are a fairly new member here at PC, welcome and I hope you are getting some support and are making some friends who can relate to your needs.

Well, sometimes that is what happens, we are reminded of something and that can open up what seems to be the floodgates to all our emotional challenges from the past. It is not unusual to go through a troubled childhood and not really know how much it really "hurt" you psychologically. And yes, that can begin to show through experiencing "anxiety".

Many people that struggle will say that they tried to forget their troubled childhoods and "just" move on with their lives. Well, the truth is, we never really do that, we tend to carry our sense of "loss or fears" with us no matter what.

Please, do not feel guilty or dumb that you happen to be the only one that hasn't gotten help yet either. You are just at a point in your life where you hit that time where you finally need to understand how you hurt and why and then, how to learn to overcome it.

It is good that you are starting therapy for this, an you will also be able to share here at PC when you need to. Feel free to come and vent or ask questions if you need to, we are not professionals ofcourse, but there are several very nice members who are in therapy, have been learning alot and will be willing to offer you support if you need it.

(((Hugs)))
Open Eyes

[yellowted]

here here, well said open eyes

[roads]

Be grateful that your husband and friends pursued the basis of your anxiety & didn't seek to cheer you away from thinking about it. Be brave and face down the demons ... your support system is there for you, holding your hand & lending support. We'll be the backup!! You go girl
Roadie

[Feral_Cat_Lover]

Thanks everyone. I get nightmares. Just starting having flash backs. I go from depression to numbness to anxiety and back and forth all day long. Headaches from it. On prozac and trazadone. Prozac does absolutely nothing for me.

[Sannah]

So glad that you are going to therapy and that you have a support system. Keep us posted on how you are doing?

[skeksi]

Welcome. It sounds like you have a good support system and that will make all the difference in your healing journey. I wouldn't worry about being the last to get help--I think we cope the best we can and don't need outside help until that coping isn't sufficient. Sounds like you coped well for a long time--that's to be admired.

[Open Eyes]

Originally Posted by Feral_Cat_Lover

Thanks everyone. I get nightmares. Just starting having flash backs. I go from depression to numbness to anxiety and back and forth all day long. Headaches from it. On prozac and trazadone. Prozac does absolutely nothing for me.

Therapy will help you alot with all of this. It is definitely time.

(((Hugs)))

Open Eyes