[Leed]

My ex (who is now deceased) was a very emotionally & verbally abusive. We were married for 26 years (yeah, I know) and during that time I endured all kinds of accusations, ranging from having affairs with the next-door neighbor (YUCK) to the neighbor behind us (ICK!) to Lord only knows who!!! NONE of these were true! In fact, he was the one who cheated when he was in the National Guard, and they went on 2 week maneuvers -- he took a local girl with him!!

Anyway -- he would accuse me of all sorts of things; and when our children got older, he TOLD them what he THOUGHT I did. Now since our kids loved both of us (although they too were abused by him and would get fed up with him) they have been unsure who to believe! They "tell" me they believe me, but I'm not convinced. They don't act like they totally believe me. I hate to think that THEY think their mother was a tramp!

Anybody else go thru this kind of messy stuff? ugh.

[yellowted]

(((hugs Lee)))

a tramp...never! a tramp would not have stuck around like you did.
your children have stuck around even knowing his accusations towards you, this proves they still love you regardless of what he said. they are not bothered wether you were a tramp or not, you are their mum and just as you love them unconditionally they too love you the same. I guess they are in their 20's or 30's and therefore are still working out how to react and cope with all the stuff going on in their busy lives, so it it no suprise they don't always act as you think they should, don't take it personally, they are probably running on overload!
your partner is your past, try not to let him spoil your future, you have been given this time without him to enjoy your future and to spend quality time with your children free from his influence. this is something your can own which partner will never get.
losing a partner makes you doubt your self and puts a big dent in your confidence, all the memories of bad times come fludding back to haunt you denting your confidence even further. you need to focus on the things you still have and let the bad times be just what they are ...a distant past memory .. which can be boxed away in the loft of your brain releasing space for new happy memories.
go girl, start living and creating those new memories you deserve it.
Take care X