[lilbluesnapdragon]

Hello, this is the first time for me in any forum, of any kind. I was compelled to look one up after some experiences I had, which I'll explain.

Before I begin, I honestly appreciate you taking the time to view my thread. I know there are a lot here. Thank you.

Alrighty, so here's the deal.
All of my life I've flinched away if someone went to touch my face area, no matter how well I knew them. It doesn't happen ALL the time, but enough. It's definitely noticeable.
Also, I've had this head thing, where I can't see blunt head trauma, etc. without having a "mini migraine" for a few seconds. In some cases I can't be told about it either.
The other day I had a little too much to drink, and apparently broke down in front of my boyfriend and said that I was beat and raped/almost raped when I was younger.
I don't remember this at all.

I kinda like being "held down" in bed, and him showing dominance.
Also, we split up for about a year. He slept with another girl, and I did not handle it well. I thought I did, until I got drunk then too and broke down about it (I'm NOT a drunk, this is new for me). Apparently I mentioned this during the same night I said about the abuse, which we already talked about it a few times already.

Could I be fabricating it? I really don't think I remember it happening. If so, is it why I like the bed thing, and why I'm so ticked he slept with someone besides me? Oh, and the head thing. That's weird.

<3

[Silent_Tears_17]

You should look at the "sorry if this is a stupid question..." forum. we are having the exact same discussion there as well. Weve been discussing regressed memories and our experiences with them and such. i hope this helps...

[Sannah]

I don't like my face touched either and I wasn't abused. It is normal to have some jealousy with your bf and liking the rough stuff doesn't mean you have been abused either IMO. I would think you would freak out if you had been abused and someone got rough with you.

[pbutton]

Originally Posted by Sannah

I would think you would freak out if you had been abused and someone got rough with you.

Not always.

[lilbluesnapdragon]

Why would I say that, being drunk or not? It all seems funny to me. I just wanna know, that's all.

[Silent_Tears_17]

Originally Posted by lilbluesnapdragon

Why would I say that, being drunk or not? It all seems funny to me. I just wanna know, that's all.

There are many reasons why we say things. But just like dreams they dont always make sense. Your boyfriend could also be misremembering the situation especially if he was drinking also. There are a lot of variabled but therapy will really help all of them. Do u have a T?

[Douglas MacNeill]

Originally Posted by lilbluesnapdragon

Hello, this is the first time for me in any forum, of any kind. I was compelled to look one up after some experiences I had, which I'll explain.

Before I begin, I honestly appreciate you taking the time to view my thread. I know there are a lot here. Thank you.

Alrighty, so here's the deal.
All of my life I've flinched away if someone went to touch my face area, no matter how well I knew them. It doesn't happen ALL the time, but enough. It's definitely noticeable.
Also, I've had this head thing, where I can't see blunt head trauma, etc. without having a "mini migraine" for a few seconds. In some cases I can't be told about it either.
The other day I had a little too much to drink, and apparently broke down in front of my boyfriend and said that I was beat and raped/almost raped when I was younger.
I don't remember this at all.

I kinda like being "held down" in bed, and him showing dominance.
Also, we split up for about a year. He slept with another girl, and I did not handle it well. I thought I did, until I got drunk then too and broke down about it (I'm NOT a drunk, this is new for me). Apparently I mentioned this during the same night I said about the abuse, which we already talked about it a few times already.

Could I be fabricating it? I really don't think I remember it happening. If so, is it why I like the bed thing, and why I'm so ticked he slept with someone besides me? Oh, and the head thing. That's weird.

<3

I, too, have faced experiences that come close to the border of abuse.
I've also experienced the same kind of self-doubt about my experiences.
In short, I can relate.

[objtrbit]

I would think you would freak out if you had been abused and someone got rough with you.[/QUOTE]

As a psych major, we see how things seem to be on a spectrum; some people who are sexually abused want nothing to do with sex, others develop an addiction to sexual activities. There is a theory out there that says we recreate our conflicts constantly. We either try to break the cycle/resolve the conflict or stay in the cycle because it is all we know.

So some people would be triggered if someone did something related to a form of abuse they've had, others would be attracted to it;

just as a side note too, I personally believe that anytime we like or don't like something, there is a reason from experience. Just because we don't know off hand what that reason is, it does not mean there is no reason-as an example, I do believe you don't like your face touched for a reason, however trivial it may seem.

Take care,
-obj

[BrokenNBeautiful]

I learned, in my own recovery experience, that our bodies may remember things that our minds don't.

You probably did not fabricate it.

coming to terms with abuse and memories can be traumatic and difficult.

My first memory was not photographic or mental. It was physical. It was very very disturbing to me.

Talk about it as you are able; that will help take away the memory's power.

Be good to yourself.

I am glad you shared with us.

Carol