[suzzie]

im just wondering how much control others have of their sessions. my t wanted to work on a certain poem. (trauma) and asked if it was ok. i said i didnt want to do that particular one. and she said. to bad. we doing it. and did. i just dont understand what control i have of the process. do i have any really. maybe im not supposed to have any.

[mazing]

I think it is a delicate balance and would be different for different people. Therapists generally aim to allow clients to have majority of control over a session but will also need to take control at times if you are struggling or they beleive that you need a bit of a 'push' out of your comfort zone to allow you to grow further.

If you really struggled with it though I would suggest talking to her. Sometimes in trying to get you out of your comfort zone therapists can push a bit too far. The only way they know is if you can talk to them about it

[confusedone7654]

Hi, I'm sorry but this makes me angry on your behalf. Why did she ask if it was OK if she had decided you were doing it regardless of your feelings. It could be a reminder of the actual abuse, where your feelings were ignored. My c has read a couple of poems out to me, each time he asked if it was ok and waited for me to reply before he got the book out. This is only my opinion but I would ask her why she asked you, then took no notice of your feelings on the matter and tell her how you feel about it. Ignore me if thats not helpful. Take care

[Big Mama]

Wow. I have had my T ask, and I have said no, I do not feel like I can talk about that right now. (rape) We didn't and re visited it later and I was more prepaired.

[Sannah]

If your T takes away your power she is doing what your abusers did. I like the idea of empowering a person. If a T empowers a person in session they will feel more comfortable to share I think. This is building the person up. Taking away their power is tearing them down.

[suzzie]

was she trying to empower me somehow. and i missed it.

[Marcelo]

a lot of things could be happening:
1) she could be teaching you to say "no", since it's an environment you have nothing to fear and could say no
2) or she thought you to be ready enough to approach subjects you don't like, because facing them helps us heal, and had no reason to avoid. since, let's face it, you did it and haven't lost a finger right?
3) and then you simply realize you're stronger than you think
4) all of the above
5) none of the above
6) i'm out of guesses =p

You are supposed to have the same control anyone has in life: you can cope, avoid, face, chat, and simply interact with another person. In a normal conversation sometimes you don't want to talk about someone else's cats, but cats are the subject. You chat and move on to dogs. It's a two way street. The key is learning to reach equilibrium.