[danii24]

I'm sorry I haven't posted here in a while...I think the last time I did post here I was admitting what happend but stiil not really dealing with....I have been dealing with being raped and other child hood abuse.....it happened from 9 - 15 but nw I'm 26 and still avoid men....even tough I'm lonely....I'm terrived 2 go out with someone....does ne1 else feel Liie this....should I not b able 2 move on at dis stage ? Sort of feel weird !

I am 28 and still have horrific flashbacks that are uncontrollable. My thought life is dark and terrifyingly cruel. Sometimes I wish I could get amnesia. You are not alone my friend.

[Little Me]

I am much older than you guys and sufferered abuse from 14-28 and never thought of any hope for me ever. I did however meet an incredible person at 32 and now am married with 2 children. Just began dealing with abuse 3 years ago and making progress. There is hope. I had no hope but there is hope. It is so hard but it is so worth it to believe in yourself and in others that want to help and those that understand.

[Sannah]

Maybe it is still too early and you need to do more work before you can feel safe?

[danii24]

Thank you for that....jus feel alone by pushing men away...I dumped a nice feel who was no threat to me at all....put I jus panicked..I felt sick and scared like I usta...going to start councilling hopefully this year for it.....jus a bit afraid to confront it in therapy but I will..thank you guys 4 listening

[1970sbaby]

I feel your pain. I am 38 years old and am still so effected from the abuse I sufferred as a child that I have never had a boyfriend. I am scared to get close to anyone as I am so uncomfortable with me. Just remember that you are not alone and we are all her for you!

{{{{HUGS}}}}

[refika]

Originally Posted by danii24

I'm sorry I haven't posted here in a while...I think the last time I did post here I was admitting what happend but stiil not really dealing with....I have been dealing with being raped and other child hood abuse.....it happened from 9 - 15 but nw I'm 26 and still avoid men....even tough I'm lonely....I'm terrived 2 go out with someone....does ne1 else feel Liie this....should I not b able 2 move on at dis stage ? Sort of feel weird !

I know exactly how you feel. I was raped by an ex-boyfriend on several occasions 20 years ago and to this day, I'm still not over it. I keep telling myself it's been 20 years, let go of the past, move on. I'm married for 14 years, my husband knows, and yet my past still haunts me.

I'm just starting to work through these issues in therapy. My T tells me the past was never fully processed by my brain and there's nothing wrong with needing/taking many years to resolve these issues.

Take time for yourself, find comfort in yourself and things YOU like to do. That will help with the loneliness. Make friends but try not to think of them as potential mates (boyfriend/girlfriend) or dates. There's nothing wrong with feeling this way and you will move forward from your past when your mind is ready to...

[BrokenNBeautiful]

Originally Posted by refika

My T tells me the past was never fully processed by my brain and there's nothing wrong with needing/taking many years to resolve these issues.

Take time for yourself, find comfort in yourself and things YOU like to do. That will help with the loneliness. Make friends but try not to think of them as potential mates (boyfriend/girlfriend) or dates. There's nothing wrong with feeling this way and you will move forward from your past when your mind is ready to...

My mentor tells me the same thing.

thanks so much for this.

I had to respond. I feel so crazy right now. I don't know if I am ever going to get over it, either.

I want a relationship.

But my own brain has not dealt with it fully.

Even if it takes the *rest of my life*, it's worth healing first!

thanks again,

Broken