Triggering? What's your opinion?

Raging Quiet · 03:09 PM

I'm extremely nervous about writing this...

When I was 11-14 I was friends with a bully (who was the same sex as me) we started off playing 'intimate' games and she became 'obsessed' with my body; leaving bruises on my chest and putting objects inside me and mocked me for how I looked nude; she also made me do the same things back and I felt dirty for years.

Flash forward to now and I suffer from spasms that stop sex/penetration and have panic attacks before being intimate with my husband.

I don't know how to class what happened when i was younger as; any opinions would be appreciated. I don't think it was SA but I don't know what to call it!

optimize990h · Feb 21, 2013 at 02:50 PM

RectOpathic, it sounds like a PTSD flash back. Hope you can find a satisfactory answer to the situation you describe. It seems like you have the answer yourself, but maybe the PTSD forum will help you find that answer. Either that, or a PC member may assist you.

Take care.

Raging Quiet · Feb 21, 2013 at 03:08 PM

Thank you; take care of yourself x

Raging Quiet · Feb 22, 2013 at 10:49 AM

If this happened to you when you were younger ; what would you think it was? Is it normal child behaviour?

shortandcute · Feb 22, 2013 at 11:13 AM

No, that was sexual abuse. Similar stuff happened to me when I was younger and it didn't occur to me until recently that it was sexual abuse.

Raging Quiet · Feb 22, 2013 at 11:53 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by shortandcute

No, that was sexual abuse. Similar stuff happened to me when I was younger and it didn't occur to me until recently that it was sexual abuse.

Thank you so much

(((((Huge hugs your way))))))

jenluv · Feb 22, 2013 at 07:39 PM

I had a similar revelation back in September. Turns out what I thought had been mostly-normal (or so I had assumed) was very much sexual abuse. It was absolutely frighteningly eye opening.

shortandcute · Feb 22, 2013 at 08:52 PM

I think that happens to us a lot; when we are sexually abused, for some reason it doesn't register that that's what happened and we often don't realize how much we're afftected by that.

Raging Quiet · Feb 23, 2013 at 05:02 PM

Thanks everyone for your input.

I tried telling my T about this and she said 'all little girls do that; it's normal' even though its affected me to this day

I really value your opinions x

shortandcute · Feb 23, 2013 at 06:41 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Rect0pathic

Thanks everyone for your input.

I tried telling my T about this and she said 'all little girls do that; it's normal' even though its affected me to this day

I really value your opinions x

Wow, I am really surprised that your T would say that!No, that IS NOT normal behavior! There is a certain amount of "exploring" that's normal, but that goes beyond. "Normal" is when a 3 year old girl wonders why her 2 year old brother has a wee-wee, and she doesn't. A 14 year old girl leaving bruises on you, putting objects in you, and making you do the same--to the point where you are still having problems--that's a whole different story. No wonder so many victims are confused about what happened to them! I'm sorry for being harsh, but that really bothers me.

BrokenNBeautiful · Feb 23, 2013 at 10:50 PM

She abused you. I am glad some ppl here are validating this.

I went thru similar experiences *and* got told there was nothing wrong with what they did to me.

Carol

IowaFarmGal · Feb 23, 2013 at 10:56 PM

Hmm, makes me wonder about your T if she thinks that's normal behavior.

Raging Quiet · Feb 24, 2013 at 05:57 AM

Thank you so much; you are all the only people to validate and take me seriously

Sending a lot of love your way x

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optimize990h Elder Member Since Jun 2012 Location: Canada Posts: 6,508 11 6,203 hugs given	Feb 21, 2013 at 02:50 PM #2 RectOpathic, it sounds like a PTSD flash back. Hope you can find a satisfactory answer to the situation you describe. It seems like you have the answer yourself, but maybe the PTSD forum will help you find that answer. Either that, or a PC member may assist you. Take care. __________________ I get fed, don't worry. (Buddy putting in his 2bits worth)
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Raging Quiet Cosmic Creeper Member Since Jan 2013 Location: Milky Way Posts: 2,080 11 1,229 hugs given	Feb 21, 2013 at 03:08 PM #3 Thank you; take care of yourself x
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Raging Quiet Cosmic Creeper Member Since Jan 2013 Location: Milky Way Posts: 2,080 11 1,229 hugs given	Feb 22, 2013 at 10:49 AM #4 If this happened to you when you were younger ; what would you think it was? Is it normal child behaviour?
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shortandcute Grand Magnate Member Since Aug 2011 Location: Washington State, U.S.A. Posts: 3,169 12 2,427 hugs given	Feb 22, 2013 at 11:13 AM #5 No, that was sexual abuse. Similar stuff happened to me when I was younger and it didn't occur to me until recently that it was sexual abuse. __________________ "Sometimes you have to hit rock bottom before you can see the top." -Wildflower http://missracgel.wixsite.com/bearhugs
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jenluv Member Member Since Mar 2012 Posts: 278 12 176 hugs given	Feb 22, 2013 at 07:39 PM #7 I had a similar revelation back in September. Turns out what I thought had been mostly-normal (or so I had assumed) was very much sexual abuse. It was absolutely frighteningly eye opening.
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shortandcute Grand Magnate Member Since Aug 2011 Location: Washington State, U.S.A. Posts: 3,169 12 2,427 hugs given	Feb 22, 2013 at 08:52 PM #8 I think that happens to us a lot; when we are sexually abused, for some reason it doesn't register that that's what happened and we often don't realize how much we're afftected by that. __________________ "Sometimes you have to hit rock bottom before you can see the top." -Wildflower http://missracgel.wixsite.com/bearhugs
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Raging Quiet Cosmic Creeper Member Since Jan 2013 Location: Milky Way Posts: 2,080 11 1,229 hugs given	Feb 23, 2013 at 05:02 PM #9 Thanks everyone for your input. I tried telling my T about this and she said 'all little girls do that; it's normal' even though its affected me to this day I really value your opinions x
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BrokenNBeautiful Mental Wellness Mensch Member Since Apr 2009 Location: I live with myself. Because that is all I can depend on. Everthing around me changes. Posts: 3,439 15 1,457 hugs given	Feb 23, 2013 at 10:50 PM #11 She abused you. I am glad some ppl here are validating this. I went thru similar experiences and got told there was nothing wrong with what they did to me. Carol
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IowaFarmGal IFG Member Since May 2012 Location: Iowa Posts: 112,518 (SuperPoster!) 12 19k hugs given	Feb 23, 2013 at 10:56 PM #12 Hmm, makes me wonder about your T if she thinks that's normal behavior. __________________
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Raging Quiet Cosmic Creeper Member Since Jan 2013 Location: Milky Way Posts: 2,080 11 1,229 hugs given	Feb 24, 2013 at 05:57 AM #13 Thank you so much; you are all the only people to validate and take me seriously Sending a lot of love your way x
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