[thatonegirl1115]

My boyfriend of 4 years told me last year how he was physically, mentally, and sexually abused. I've tried to get him to get professional help but I'm the only one he's told and he's too ashamed. He gets depressed a lot and it stresses me out sometimes still too. He never gets mad but he has no confidence in himself... What can I do to help him out? We have a baby on the way and I want him to be happier instead of always being scared and depressed. He's the nicest man I know and it hurts me to see him hurt like that over every little thing.

[optimize990h]

hi thatonegirl1115! It is difficult to get proper treatment for someone who is resistant.
Right now, his depression needs to be assessed by a psychotherapist. It would be difficult, but if your husband is willing to be treated for his depression that might get him to trust the therapist. But if he won't go for any reason, then you could check the resources in the survivors of abuse forum. By resources, there are web pages that have lists of places to give information about abuse victims.

Your husband can be anonymous here and express whatever feelings causing his depression. There are PC members who could relate to his feelings and offer him support as well.

Take care.

I'm in a similar situation with my fiance too. It's a tough spot to be in because you can't force him into getting help if he doesn't feel ready. I would make him aware of any resources like this site or therapists in your area and then let him decide if he wants their help on his own and just be supportive of him.

[shortandcute]

I know it's hard to see someone you love having such a hard time--especially with a baby on the way. I know there are support groups for friends and family of those who sufffer from depression--maybe you can check online to see if there are any in your area? You obviously love him very much.

[thatonegirl1115]

Thanks for the replies! his abuser, who is a family member, called him asking about the baby and is trying to meet him in person again and that's got him really down ): i'm doing my best not to lose my cool it's getting to me though. He's usually not this depressed.