[justjackie]

hi all. i looked to see if i could find a forum on spousal abuse, but i didn't see one. maybe we could set one up as a sub-group in here. i just divorced my husband after 5 1/2 yrs of emotional, verbal, psychological abuse and would really like to connect with others who had been there/done that. the abuse made my bipolar so much worse and i didn't even know it. it took me a long time to finally realize that i was in an abusive marriage. anyone out there want to talk with me?

jackie

[Sannah]

Hi Jackie, welcome to PC.

[Leed]

Hi Jackie ~ I was in a 26 year marriage that was abusive the same as yours. He was emotionally, verbally, mentally abusive, and my self-esteem was in the toilet. I just didn't have the strength to leave, plus he said he'd take my children away from me and he'd take them to a place where I'd NEVER see them again -- and he would have too! He would have done anything to hurt me, even if it hurt the children in the process. He just didn't want me to leave.

So stupid that I was, I waited until the youngest was 18, and then I divorced him. If I had any sense, and more strength I would have taken the kids and divorced him much sooner -- the kids weren't happy the way it was. They would have been much happier if we had left. But they didn't understand the whole thing. And they didn't know their mother was chicken.

When all was over, I finally went to therapy and got my self-esteem back -- I got my "power" back. Even tho we weren't married anymore, he still TRIED to walk all over me, but now he couldn't because I wouldn't LET him. He didn't like that. I wasn't laying on the floor anymore like a door mat.

And then I left town -- I moved away, where he didn't know where I was -- and the kids wouldn't tell him. That REALLY enraged him. Awww, too bad.

Jackie, I'm so glad you got away from your abusive husband! You must feel like a huge weight has been lifted from your shoulders. I know that I did!! I felt so FREE after the divorce! All of a sudden, I didn't have some idiot trying to run my life for me. I hope you are enjoying your life now, like I did. I do recommend that you go to counseling so that you don't choose the same kind of man again -- that happens alot. We tend to choose the same kind of man we just got RID of. Try counseling - you won't regret it.

I wish you the very best. God bless and please take care. Hugs, Lee

[justjackie]

ty lee. i just want to tell you that i stopped myself from becoming involved with/ or at least sleeping with a man just like my ex on saturday night. i'm pretty proud of myself, but i do keep wondering if i'll be strong enough if he comes back over and offers again. i hope so. he was drunk, talked about how much he loves pain pills and then got in a fight with his gf that tuned violent, and then after she left asked me to "come here" by him on the couch because he was horny. now i was drinking too, but not enough to lose my self-respect and sleep with him. when i was tired, i asked him to go home. yeah for me! i could have screwed around and got myself into a bad situation quite easily, but i didn't.

[picklewheeze]

Jj,

Well done for coming so far already!! You sound so strong and.like you have come so far already.

I understand why you want a specific group however I will say the people here are very supportive and understanding. Anything you wish to discuss will be welcomed and heard.

I look forward to your posts.

[Sannah]

Originally Posted by justjackie

i do keep wondering if i'll be strong enough if he comes back over and offers again.

he was drunk, talked about how much he loves pain pills and then got in a fight with his gf that tuned violent, and then after she left asked me to "come here" by him on the couch because he was horny.

This guy sounds like big trouble. Avoiding these types would be really helpful.

[Leed]

Good for you Jackie. That would have meant BIG trouble! You don't need any more trouble than you already have.

Remember that drinking makes problems worse. Not better.

I'm glad you stayed away from that guy though. Take good care of yourself. God bless & take care! Hugs, Lee