[Moodswing]

Every year on Mother’s Day we as a society get inundated with movies about mothers, sappy Hallmark card Mother’s Day commercials, endless rounds of advertisements on ways you can show your mother that you love her by buying her something. On Mother’s Day many churches do tributes to moms – handing out charm bracelets, giving out flowers, and preaching sermons about how families are wonderful things to have and how you need to be so thankful to your mother for raising you and putting up with you. Mothers are celebrated as though motherhood is the be all and end all of existence. It’s required that you show appreciate to your mom, grow up to be a fantastic mother, or show tribute to all the mother figures in your life.
But what if Mother’s Day is just full of pain?
What if just the thought of your own mom brings on fear and anxiety, or what if you have lost a child, or what if you are unable to have children, or what if you don’t even want children of your own? What if while reading praises about other people’s lovely mothers just brings you to tears filled with jealousy or an aching in your heart? Or what if thinking about your own mom doesn’t conjure up love, but perhaps obligation or hate or even terror?
This is side to Mother’s Day that just doesn’t get discussed very often.
If you’re blessed to have a good mother, that’s wonderful. But not everyone wants to hear about it – especially on Mother’s Day. The day brings up too many intense feelings, especially if you want to be a mom but cannot be, or your mother hurt you, or your mom has died.
There are mothers out there for whom you can’t find just the right Hallmark card. “Thank you for being such a precious mom who I am so grateful for” just doesn’t cut it. How about cards that says “You were never there for me.” Or how about “Thanks for never stopping dad / your boyfriend / your brother from molesting me in the bedroom next to yours.” Or what about “I know you never even wanted me.” Or perhaps, “I never even knew you.” Instead of thankfulness and love and gratitude, there should be cards that express fear, anger, stress, and hurt.
Instead of spending Mother’s Day taking your mom out to dinner and to the spa, some people spend it curled up on the couch, just trying to survive the day. Some spend the day trying to cope with flashbacks; giving into painful behaviors such as cutting or over-eating; feeling lost and very, very alone. Some people spend the day aching over the grief for children they can’t have, for the mom they always wanted but don’t feel like they deserved.
What if Mother’s Day is one of the worst days of the year for you?

-Thoughts from a Trauma Therapist

[nicoleflynn]

I SO relate; it is close to impossible to find a Mother's Day card if you had an abusive/bad mother....I try to find one that simply says Happy.......a feat, indeed. My friend and I have discussed what a market there is for Mother's Day cards that aren't all schmaltzy, et....

I became the mom I always wanted and therefore kind of became my own parent, nurturing myself.

[BrokenNBeautiful]

Mother's Day is not always a positive day, that's for sure. It can be very unpleasant, too.

[shezbut]

I have a heck of a time celebrating Mother's Day, and most other holidays, because it triggers such negative emotions and sorrow. I am a mom, myself, but I'd still rather skip the gooey commercials and lovey-dovey cards. It is really hard!

Oh my gosh.i was the one who wrote the post you just quoted. Last year, for kathy broadys blog.
Now i am all weirded out that i checked out your post.

Um....probably needless to say, but i totally relate to how youre feeling.
Mothers day, obviously, isnt my favorite day