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#1
May 10, 2013, 07:45 PM
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I am not really sure what to write I am just feeling annoyed that this Anxiety has been going on for so long. I was molested as a 4 year old though I don't remember complete details but certain sexual acts and pap smears cause severe anxiety. I had a pap smear today which I avoided for 4 years since my last one. I have to take ativan before attending appointments and I just wish I could be okay.
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 BrokenNBeautiful, livefast3315, optimize990h, shezbut, suzzie, tinyrabbit
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#2
May 12, 2013, 11:34 PM
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Are you in therapy?
__________________
"Just as a jewel that has been buried in the earth for a million years is not discolored or harmed, in the same way this noble heart is not affected by all of our kicking and screaming. The jewel can be brought out into the light at any time, and it will glow as brilliantly as if nothing had ever happened. No matter how committed we are to unkindness, selfishness, or greed, the genuine heart of bodhichitta cannot be lost. It is here in all that lives, never marred and completely whole."
Pema Chodron |
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#3
May 12, 2013, 11:34 PM
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(((Dragongurl)))
I'm sorry that you're suffering has continued for so many years.  Not uncommon, but it is sad. We shouldn't have to by hypersensitive to so many words and situations...it's so unfair! Maybe someday, we will no longer hold onto the past & we will be able to enjoy (or withstand) the present moment without going back to our abusive memories. 
__________________
"Only in the darkness can you see the stars." - Martin Luther King Jr. "Forgive others not because they deserve forgiveness but because you deserve peace." - Author Unkown |
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#4
May 14, 2013, 01:44 AM
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I hate paps.
<empathize> I finally had one after 10 years. Carol
__________________
The idea of a soul mate is an ILLUSION. In reality, we must learn to be our own best friend/partner. Then if love comes to us, we will already be whole. All that love can do, at that point, is enhance our wholeness!  |
| shezbut
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