[itsmeleyreagain]

No, wait, I know why, because the younger person is always seen as the weaker one and being taken advantage of.
But I wonder why, when a teenager, an older teenager, like, 16 or 17 years old, starts a relationship with an older man, it is typically regarded as the person was abused.

I've told several people that when I was 16 I had a relationship with an American man (I'm not American) who was 31 years older tan me, he was 47. Most people regarded the situation as abuse, although I don't feel it was typical abuse. He loved me dearly, and yeah, he was ****ed up, maybe, but so was I. He's still the man I love the most, and I left him for my own good and his own good. He was married and yeah, those things were really not okay and that's why I left him, but it doesn't matter. Why there is that Wall in the thoughts of people regarding age-dispar relationships? My therapists, many of them, and my mother, think this man was somehow taking advantage of me, when i know it was the contrary, and not because he has tricked me into thinking that. He's the reason I speak so well English, and i think also the reason that i feel like i had two different personalities, one speaking english and other spanish. i feel like, not wholly different people at times, it doesn't depend on the language i am using, but it has something to do. it doesn't influence it, but it's influenced by it.

[almostthere]

I'm not judging you in any way but your relationship with a man thirty something years older than u,and himself married, when in this country u are considered a minor, in my opinion, was grossly inappropriate behavior and simply wrong. Also, I think he took full advantage of u. Wrong, wrong, and wrong!!!

I hope that u can get over this experience and move on with your young life.

"almostthere"

Originally Posted by itsmeleyreagain

No, wait, I know why, because the younger person is always seen as the weaker one and being taken advantage of.
But I wonder why, when a teenager, an older teenager, like, 16 or 17 years old, starts a relationship with an older man, it is typically regarded as the person was abused.

I've told several people that when I was 16 I had a relationship with an American man (I'm not American) who was 31 years older tan me, he was 47. Most people regarded the situation as abuse, although I don't feel it was typical abuse. He loved me dearly, and yeah, he was ****ed up, maybe, but so was I. He's still the man I love the most, and I left him for my own good and his own good. He was married and yeah, those things were really not okay and that's why I left him, but it doesn't matter. Why there is that Wall in the thoughts of people regarding age-dispar relationships? My therapists, many of them, and my mother, think this man was somehow taking advantage of me, when i know it was the contrary, and not because he has tricked me into thinking that. He's the reason I speak so well English, and i think also the reason that i feel like i had two different personalities, one speaking english and other spanish. i feel like, not wholly different people at times, it doesn't depend on the language i am using, but it has something to do. it doesn't influence it, but it's influenced by it.

[itsmeleyreagain]

Originally Posted by almostthere

I'm not judging you in any way but your relationship with a man thirty something years older than u,and himself married, when in this country u are considered a minor, in my opinion, was grossly inappropriate behavior and simply wrong. Also, I think he took full advantage of u. Wrong, wrong, and wrong!!!

I hope that u can get over this experience and move on with your young life.

"almostthere"

You are not judging me...but you think I did something horrible...it's okay, because I did it. Why it is always considered that I must carry certain trauma from this relationship? Why people look at you like the source of your problems must be that one? I know myself and I can recognize my trauma, and while I admit it is a rocky, certainly disturbing part of my past, it's not as highly traumatic as it was. It was love, given a point.

[shortandcute]

It was not love. When a 47 year old man-who is admittedly ****ed up, cheats on his wife with a 16 year old girl--no, that is not love. If he did love you, he would have waited until you were older. Even more, I dont think he would have put you thru that.