[Eleora]

I have some issues with things that happened in my past.

I feel like I should tell my boyfriend, but I can't. I know he'd be understanding and love me anyways, but it's extremely hard for me to talk about it. I don't think I have ever told anyone besides my best friend, and even then it wasn't specifics.

I think I need advice. I'm not sure what to do

[bebop]

is the bf a very serious one? I mean the relationship? I wouldn't say anything myself unless I thought the relationship was one that was leading to something down the road. if he is understanding kind of person then I would

[Perna]

You don't have to start with specifics; maybe just start with the "fact" you were abused? See what questions he has, how he responds, etc. You can be general anytime you want or say you're not prepared to discuss certain things right yet.

[JustAPixie]

Start small, that's how i told my partner. All I said at first was that I have suffered abuse, but I'm not ready to talk about it and will let him know when I am. His reaction was so warm and concerning that it made me feel safe. For me it was a way to test the water without spilling my guts.
Later I told him that it was ritual abuse. Again he was compassionate... curious and a bit pushy, but he gave me my space. And so it went untill one day I told him everything, without fear of rejection because I knew what his reaction would be!

[Eleora]

These are good ideas. I wasn't even sure how to bring it up... he knows my parents can be abusive (mother physically, both emotionally), but I don't think he even has an inkling about this.

It's fairly serious. I'm 17, we've been talking for about 2 years, starting dating recently, both said I love you recently, and now I feel like it's my responsibility to be completely honest with him about this.

I know he'll be completely understanding, I just worry what I will think and what he might think. I know, logically, he won't think anything negative about me, but emotionally I worry a lot.

[jennie]

As a teen, I never told my boyfriends about my abuse because I was protecting my parents' secret.

I think the other posters' suggestions are good.

I don't know how many details your boyfriend wants to know. Or how many detail you need to tell him. Only you can decide how much is appropriate to tell him.

Since abuse topics are serious conversations, maybe prepare him first. Let him know at such-n-such time you'd like to discuss some problems you have had with your mother.

Also, you could write stuff down as a guide for you or for things you want him to read because are unable to speak those words outloud.

Huggs are very therapeutic. Sometimes you can talk vaguely about stuff and still find healing through the huggs you receive.

Take care of you.

[Eleora]

Well he knows about my mom... he's not happy with her, but we've talked about it I made him understand it a bit. She's not a horrbile mother, but she's not a good one either, you know?

I am talking sexual abuse from a past... I don't even know what I'd call it.

[bebop]

just take your time. right now might be too soon to tell everything