Past Abuse and Present Deviance?

Does anyone think past physical abuse growing up and being raped by a friend as a teenager could lead someone do desire being physically hurt and abused as an adult and also lead to strange sexual desires that normal people might not have? I'm so confused.

insecuity

i don't have the answers to your questions... but i am listening... are you in t?...lyn

(((((((((((((insecurity)))))))))))))))

Sometimes if one experiences abuse as a younger person, we associate it with something we deserve (even unconsciously) and proceed to replay such patterns later in life. It's like trying to de-value what happened before, by creating a worse situation at the present ... but something under our own control, and not that of an abuser. So then we take on the guilt of what happened before, and the guilt of the present (and what we're doing to ourselves) and we wind up feeling worse - because that's what we feel we deserve. I hope that makes sense. You're not alone.

Keep talking, we're all listening.

Yes I think thats possible. For me personally, I've acted it out on myself more then acted it on society...and I think the "strange" sexual desires, are not that strange at all in the general population but its the "why" behind them that may differ, for me it was a way of trying to be in control of something I once wasn't in control off...therapy has helped me with these confusing issues.

I think I read somewhere that S&M fantasies are slightly more common in women who experienced sexual abuse. These are common thoughts/fantasies in non-abused people too and aren't necessarily abnormal. Also just thinking about being harmed or forced it doesn't mean that you will actually engage in these activities.

This kind of important question can't be really answered by strangers in a forum.

I can say that childhood physical, sexual and emotional abuse had very bad effects on me and damaged the way I relate to people and how I feel about myself and about sexual intimacy.

Any person who has been raped will have some pain and issues to deal with. Rape is a terrible violation of ones trust and ones very being. It is horrible.

I'm sorry this happened to you and I hope you can find the help and healing you undoubtedly need. I'm not sure if anyone can get through such pain all by themselves. I know I've needed some counseling help and some support from others. Doing things to pursue healing has helped me get better from my painful past.

Leslie

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multipixie9 said:
This kind of important question can't be really answered by strangers in a forum.


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Oh I think it can be discussed and I think even strangers can relate if they have had the same life experiences? They maybe strangers in as much as we dont know the person, but we can share the pain and experience, don't you think?

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insecurity said:
Does anyone think past physical abuse growing up and being raped by a friend as a teenager could lead someone do desire being physically hurt and abused as an adult and also lead to strange sexual desires that normal people might not have? I'm so confused.

insecuity

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Hi insecurity

I can only answer this question from a personal point of view, from my own experience of being abused as a child and a teen.

For me personally the answer is yes....i have always been drawn to relationships where i will be physically and sexually abused, or where the man will make sadistic sexual demands....while always shying from men who were soft and gentle etc.

I have to say though....that is just me and NOT everyone who grew up being abused reacts in that way.

I hope i have not offended anyone here with this reply, and i hope it was of some help to you.

Peace, love and care,
roz
xx

(((Everyone)))

Thanks for all of your replies. I gues I just wanted to see if anyone else felt like this of if it there was just something wrong with me....beyond everything else. Thanks for the responses!

insecurity