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#1
Sep 09, 2013, 02:04 PM
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My partner went through the motions, talked to the authorities about the abuse at the hands of his ex wife, took the kids currently getting abused for him to come forward and bring it up, 8 years after the fact. He's talked to them twice now, the last one was a marathon session of the same questions over and over again, which completely drained him and made him feel like the bad guy.
He's mentally exhausted. They want him to go in again today or tomorrow, if he goes in to talk to them again, it will determine whether they press charges against his ex wife, which they will, as long as he goes in to give a statement again. I want to encourage him to not give up, but I don't want him to feel like I'm pushing him to do something he doesn't want to, even though, I know deep down he wants to do this. He wants her gone, but when he gets mentally tired, he defaults to the parts of his personality that he's most used too... which is passive and the "give up/why fight it" mentality. Just 2 weeks ago he was empowered by talking to them, because charges laid against her will help a LOT of other issues (custody, etc) straighten out so he can heal and carry on. Any suggestions?
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#2
Sep 09, 2013, 04:02 PM
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Why not do something like "Hey, I know it's going to be a ****** time. How about after we go to a restaurant or out to do something fun - your choice!" or like offer to make his favourite meal or something... and maybe promise a back massage or something that he'd like? That would give him something to look forward to afterwards, at least.
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"The time has come, the Walrus said, to talk of many things. Of shoes, of ships, of sealing wax, of cabbages, of kings! Of why the sea is boiling hot, of whether pigs have wings..." "I have a problem with low self-esteem. Which is really ridiculous when you consider how amazing I am. |
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#3
Sep 10, 2013, 07:30 AM
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Quote:
He actually made the decision himself to try to contact his person he was talking to at the station. He's really sensitive about being pushed/told what to do right now, but apparently his parents have been being really controlling, so that's a HUGE factor. Thanks Red Panda! 
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 A Red Panda
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