[Daeva]

I'm telling you all this because I need a place where I can tell all without having to see the judgment, furthermore after being told that I should be grateful I have a Mother yesterday I am on the verge of throttling someone.

I was born September 25, 1990, my Mother took me home, my father had already split when my Mother got pregnant—he didn’t want a child. Well apparently neither did my Mother, she met my brother’s father a few weeks after I was born and began to neglect me. Leaving me to cry in my own waste, didn’t feed me, didn’t pay attention to me. So much so that my Maternal grandmother took me away from her and raised me until I was five when my Mother came to get me once more, she took me back with her to her apartment with a new boyfriend, my brother had gone to his father. So it was just my Mother, me and Asa, the trucker boyfriend. He was mean, he yelled a lot at my mother and I, they would fight horribly, breaking things right in front of me, it was quite frightening treading over broken glass and furniture at 5. He use to verbally abuse me a lot and when he got really mad he liked to slap me around a bit. Once I overflowed the toilet and he got pissed off at me and threw me into the water, he sat on me screaming before taking me by the hair and shoving my head into the overflowing toilet, drowning me.

Whenever I did anything bad I’d be sent to the corner where I wasn’t allowed to come out until I pissed my pants. Eventually he left and my Mother got with her cousin, Everett. He was just as cruel, especially to my kitties, he would kick me whenever I walked past him, and use to lock me in my room. He would scream at me and call me names and threaten me with being homeless. One night he got mad and made me sleep outside. I was ten. When I was 13 she broke up with him and went with Rick, who began to sexually abuse me, my Mother knew and let him sexually abuse me in exchange for money. That lasted for years before I came out and told two teachers who did nothing, but then I told my Gram who tried getting custody of me but lost. Meanwhile mother and I fought often, like we always have, she was still slamming me into walls and smacking me across the face like she always use to when I was little. But now I was big enough to fight back and I often did. I ran away. When I was 17 she met Billy who also tried to sexually abuse me but I fought back and left home I moved in with my gram and lived with her verbal abuse for a few more years before finally moving out once I went to college, where I now have a counselor and a T (For Depression, OCD anxiety, and PTSD), and a mentor who all really support and care for me. And for the first time in my life I’m getting any sort of affection, I even get hugs!

[Silent_Tears_17]

I am so sorry for all your pain. College is amazing for finding a T, and mentors. Unfortunately, its only the beginning of a long journey to recovery. But you sound so strong and I am sure you will be able to recover so well.
I am in college too, now. It has helped me a lot.

[Daeva]

Thank you! -hug- Yeah I'm beginning to realize how much work is going to have to go into healing myself in Therapy