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#1
Oct 09, 2006, 04:08 PM
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I think the silence has hurt more than the trauma.
It's becoming more difficult to remain in that silence whereas it used to be like second nature and I would go to great lengths to protect it. Somehow inside I am not as damaged as I think I am. I am not bad, I am not disgusting and I am worth saving now. It wasn't my job to save her then. I do not have to hurt like a child anymore. I am not little. I am an adult. I am a survivor of someone elses distorted reality which was forced upon a child who didn't know. I didn't know. I am just me and it just might be ok. This is when it starts to hurt huh. When you realize that the pain is as much his as it is yours. This is when it's ok to talk about what he did. This is when it's safe to feel; it wasn't then. I don't have to be afraid anymore. I bet he isn't as big as I remember. I know my healing lies in the "details" of what he did and being able to say it out loud. I know if I talk about them they won't be mine anymore. I'm afraid to let go. It's safe now. Finally, it's safe now. ~Sailaway |
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#2
Oct 09, 2006, 10:30 PM
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wow. i dont have anythign to add, but that was a beautiful post.
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#3
Oct 09, 2006, 10:53 PM
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Sailaway
   
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#4
Oct 09, 2006, 11:15 PM
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Wow... Thanks! So much of what you said rings true for me.
Stay with it... Faith
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Faith is daring the soul to go beyond what the eyes can see. |
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#5
Oct 09, 2006, 11:59 PM
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sailaway wow im still in the silence phase
__________________
Don't give up It's just the hurt that you hide When you're lost inside I'll...I'll be there to find you Don't give up Because you want to burn bright If darkness blinds you I will shine to guide you Everybody wants to be understood |
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#6
Oct 10, 2006, 02:39 AM
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#7
Oct 10, 2006, 12:58 PM
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))))) ) )sailaway ((((((( ( ( strong woman, heal on heal on sister!
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#8
Oct 10, 2006, 08:43 PM
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the moments of strength rise and fall like the tide but lately it hurts so much and i can't quite pinpoint exactly what hurt i just know my soul is screaming yet i'm so quiet.
we have to let go somehow someway. we don't deserve to hurt like this. my story will always be mine. your story will always be yours. it's time to start reading it instead of burning the pages. |
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