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  #1  
Old Oct 09, 2006, 04:08 PM
Sailaway Sailaway is offline
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I think the silence has hurt more than the trauma.

It's becoming more difficult to remain in that silence whereas it used to be like second nature and I would go to great lengths to protect it. Somehow inside I am not as damaged as I think I am. I am not bad, I am not disgusting and I am worth saving now. It wasn't my job to save her then. I do not have to hurt like a child anymore. I am not little. I am an adult. I am a survivor of someone elses distorted reality which was forced upon a child who didn't know. I didn't know. I am just me and it just might be ok.

This is when it starts to hurt huh. When you realize that the pain is as much his as it is yours. This is when it's ok to talk about what he did. This is when it's safe to feel; it wasn't then. I don't have to be afraid anymore. I bet he isn't as big as I remember. I know my healing lies in the "details" of what he did and being able to say it out loud. I know if I talk about them they won't be mine anymore. I'm afraid to let go.

It's safe now. Finally, it's safe now.

~Sailaway

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  #2  
Old Oct 09, 2006, 10:30 PM
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wow. i dont have anythign to add, but that was a beautiful post.
  #3  
Old Oct 09, 2006, 10:53 PM
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biplol biplol is offline
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Sailaway Silence Silence Silence Silence Silence Silence Silence Silence Silence Silence Silence Silence Silence
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SilenceSilence
  #4  
Old Oct 09, 2006, 11:15 PM
FaithisAlive FaithisAlive is offline
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Wow... Thanks! So much of what you said rings true for me.

Stay with it... Faith
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Faith is daring the soul to go beyond what the eyes can see.
  #5  
Old Oct 09, 2006, 11:59 PM
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arod13 arod13 is offline
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sailaway wow im still in the silence phase
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Don't give up
It's just the hurt that you hide
When you're lost inside
I'll...I'll be there to find you
Don't give up
Because you want to burn bright
If darkness blinds you
I will shine to guide you
Everybody wants to be understood
  #6  
Old Oct 10, 2006, 02:39 AM
Anonymous29319
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Silence Silence Silence
  #7  
Old Oct 10, 2006, 12:58 PM
hillbunnyb hillbunnyb is offline
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))))) ) )sailaway ((((((( ( ( strong woman, heal on heal on sister!
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Silence
  #8  
Old Oct 10, 2006, 08:43 PM
Sailaway Sailaway is offline
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the moments of strength rise and fall like the tide but lately it hurts so much and i can't quite pinpoint exactly what hurt i just know my soul is screaming yet i'm so quiet.
we have to let go somehow someway. we don't deserve to hurt like this. my story will always be mine. your story will always be yours. it's time to start reading it instead of burning the pages.
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