[Rhapsody]

I was wondering if there is any person (just one female) on this website that has come out of sexual abuse with a fairly normal life and a positive way of thinking - about people, men and this world?

Thanks...
LoVe,
Rhapsody -

hoping the answer is yes for everyone. My heart says healing is possible for all though.. the pace of healing though is variable.

[mrb020377]

i wish i could say yes... i am working towards that and have changed my way of thinking about men and life in general... it takes time

[Rhapsody]

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mrb023077 said:
i wish i could say yes... i am working towards that and have changed my way of thinking about men and life in general... it takes time

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YES..... it does in deed take time and effort, but when will it change? - I have been fighting this awful feeling inside of me since I was 12 years old (prob earlier - but as a child I learned to laugh and live) - I just want to be NORMAL after 30 long years of h*ll.

Rhapsody -

[FaithisAlive]

Yes.. to a degree.. I have never blamed all men for what a few men did to me... I didn't blame all women for what my own mother did to me either.. ( she sexually abused me as well)

And I have always known in my heart that I deserved love and happiness as well as peace of mind... getting there hasn't been easy.

I have a lot of healing still do to. .but what saved me through the years of abuse in part was believing there was soemthing better for me in life... and I still hold that thought now...

I am in a loving relationship and I have 2 beautiful sons, one 22 one 16.... precious grandkids to enjoy.. and hope for what lies ahead.... I have to keep that faith.. which is why the screen name.. Faith is alive in my heart...

[JustAPixie]

Healing came for me when I took a leap of faith into a relationship... through the love that I have received there I realized that there is at least one man on this earth who is decent! I still hate all other men though, but not as much as I used to. To surround yourself with love is the best for your wounds!

[deepblue]

i would like to say yes to that one but deep down i do not trust my own husband we have a deep bond when we met and yes it is due to child abuse, he deals with it seperately unlike me he seems normal to me but i deal with my abuse badly i think not knowing how a normal life should be ,my husband was stabbed by his ex several times but he met me even though i endured of 18 months of domestic violence through this we found out that he can be bad tempered and yes so can i, but i think we have a deep love , we are both scared to trust each other due to past traumas but somehow we are still together not sure how with what we have both been through maybe he is the one for me ,he tells me he loves me more times i tell him!!!!!!

[Rhapsody]

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deepblue said:
i would like to say yes to that one but deep down i do not trust my own husband

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I truly do understand that statement, for even though they are our husbands - they are still male and still carry with them male ways and longings that leave them acting (at times) as though sex and a sexy body is all there is to life and to their eyes..... even over true love at times.

........................... YOU are NOT ALONE .......................


LoVe,
Rhapsody - ((( hugs )))

[JustAPixie]

((((((((((((((((( deepblue )))))))))))))))))
Besides the one, I prefer the company of females... even in the thoughts in my mind sometimes...

[deepblue]

((((((((((rhapsody)))))))))) and (((((((((tanya))))))))))))

thankyou for your response, it is so uplifting to realise i am not the only person who thinks like you guys i actually thought that thinking that way and feeling that way was wrong and that i was not normal i thought i was on my own

thankyou for your knowledge

i wish you both well

[SeptemberMorn]

I believe that I have!

[Rhapsody]

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SeptemberMorn said:
I believe that I have!

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Would YOU care to expound on that statement..... like with - HOW?

And - If I may ask?
Was your sexual abuse a one time thing or did it reoccur over many years and with more than one man.... like many of us here.

Thanks....
LoVe,
Rhapsody -

[majella]

Hey Rhapsody,

I cant say that I am an example of near perfect mental health, or a person who doesnt have any hang ups despite my sexual abuse history ...

But I did want to point out to you that there probably ARE some people out there who were not so negatively effected by a sexually abusive childhood.

It's just that you need to consider the people you are asking these questions of, and realise that you arent going to run into too many of these sorts of people on an internet support site.

I used to wonder if it was inevitable that those people who had histories of sexual trauma, were going to end up with severe emotional, psyhcosocial and sexual hang ups. And this was because when I was an inpatient in a psych ward, I discovered that so many of the female patients there had histories of childhood sexual abuse.

But then again ... you need to think of the population of people you are looking at or asking questions of, before you make these sorts of assumptions. I hadnt really stopped to think until later on, that the people I was observing, were all in a psych hospital. Maybe there were people out in the world who were doing fine despite having an abuse history ... it's just that I wasnt going to find those sorts of people in a psych hospital ... just like you might have trouble finding these sorts of people on a support site.

We here are not a good respresentative sample of the whole community - lots of us are here because we DO have problems and need the support of others who understand.

my therapist was abused. i think several times. Shes leads a normal life i think. but i think its changed her, but shes still made a good life.

[Monty_girl]

I think I'm almost there. Think when I started working with a male therapist, for me it helped in my healing. Building a bond of trust with a male has in someways helped me learn that not all men are abusers.

My life is pretty normal I would say, Married and working. When it comes to my way of thinking. I want my life to have a meaning. Guess that's the reason why I went into social work. I wanted to help ppl.

I have problems. But everyone has problems. For me I have a good support system. I used to be very untrusting of everyone. I wouldn't speak to anyone. I mean ANYONE! I would cry anytime my H would take me out in public. So I've come a long way. Took me years to get to where I'm at, but I'm getting to be where I want to be.

Lisa

[Perna]

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TanyaGrave said:
Healing came for me when I took a leap of faith into a relationship... through the love that I have received there I realized that there is at least one man on this earth who is decent! I still hate all other men though, but not as much as I used to. To surround yourself with love is the best for your wounds!

</div></font></blockquote><font class="post"> Amen!