[mummymooch]

OK so im 26 years old and live in Ireland and hate it here i came from England to stay with my mum now i have settled down with my partner of 4 years. I was abused as a kid a lot. My farthers brothers since i was a girl and again as a teenager i have been told over and over to say nothing a lot of people know thoe my mum my siblings my partner some friends. Im not ready to go to the police yet althoe the police know of 1 uncle and said i can get him done any time as he is in England doing time for the same thing to my other 2 cusens. I was drunk the other nite and blurted it out to my mums friend , i went round to my mums to day and she hardly said two words i asked her why was she not talking telling her thats not very nice i dont want to visit and be ignored so i asked her outside for a min and said im sorry did i say something the other nite when i was drinkin she instantly got all worked up and said you should not have said that you said to much, so i got very mad and told her to **** off thatim sick of being told to stay quiet i told her i was going to hit her as she used to hit me i said im alot older now and im not scared of u anymore i said a lot we have worked things out after that we are talking again but she makes me feel like im the 1 that shud b sorry . They do threaten her sometimes so i understand its hard for her but her freind wont say nothing we can trust her . I hate all this looking over my sholder all the time worrying will they attack me again they smashed my car window 5 weeks agao in the middle of the night its a life of fear i cant wait till i move its nitemare . Im on prozac so it calms me abit but im so anxios , spelling and grammor is crappy