[CalmingOcean]

So, when I am really struggling to deal with life, I lie in my bed, completely covered by my blankets, curl up in a ball, but the tip of my thumb, and Rock...And rock and rock...

Sometimes I end up failing asleep (this is how I fall asleep) but even when I don't after a sufficient amount of time of this (oddly strange ritual by my husbands perspective...) I feel okay for a while longer, like I can go a couple more hours. Some days, this is how it is. Unfortunately, this is one of those days. Luckily, my little guy is so sick and so he pretty much slept all day so I only had to do the fake happy deal this morning while he managed to open some of his presents.

Care to share your 'odd' self sootng methods... I figure it's way more healthy than turning to the bottle, knife or joint. But strange all the same.

[CANDC]

Calming Ocean great technique. Sounds like yoga exercises.

My self soothing exercise is this simple breathing exercise.

Breathing exercise
If you are feeling very anxious or angry or just want to calm down, you can try a breathing exercise that takes the attention away from the trigger of anxiety to a simple tool of counting breaths.

Find a comfortable position seated or laying down. Begin to relax your breathing. Silently count 1 on the inhale, and two on the exhale. Then silently count 3 on the inhale and 4 on the exhale. Continue up to 10 or until you lose the count then return to one. No judgement. I sometimes end up at 18 then smile and return to 1. The idea is to focus on the breath and the counting and not get sucked into the anxiety or anger trigger. Also works to quiet the mind. Breathing is natural -do not force it.

[Just keep swimming]

Originally Posted by CalmingOcean

So, when I am really struggling to deal with life, I lie in my bed, completely covered by my blankets, curl up in a ball, but the tip of my thumb, and Rock...And rock and rock...

Sometimes I end up failing asleep (this is how I fall asleep) but even when I don't after a sufficient amount of time of this (oddly strange ritual by my husbands perspective...) I feel okay for a while longer, like I can go a couple more hours. Some days, this is how it is. Unfortunately, this is one of those days. Luckily, my little guy is so sick and so he pretty much slept all day so I only had to do the fake happy deal this morning while he managed to open some of his presents.

Care to share your 'odd' self sootng methods... I figure it's way more healthy than turning to the bottle, knife or joint. But strange all the same.

I'm sorry it's one of those days. I know what you mean about having to do the fake happy. I would listen to myself with my son sometimes and I'd be amazed that I could sound so OK while feeling like I could barely function. I was grateful when that happened.

I get a bunch of pillows and blankets, pile them on my bed and go under them for a while. It's my bed cave.

I also get coloring books, they can be just regular kid coloring books, and color them. I find this so soothing. Sometimes I get caught doing this and I feel silly. My therapist said that they even make a coloring book called "Color yourself relaxed" or something like that, for grownups. I think I'm going to treat myself and get one of those cool grownup coloring books. (I had hoped that somehow I'd get one for Christmas.)

[Bluegrey]

I find that having nice textures to touch helps - velvet, soft fleece, my dog's fur. I also use this for grounding. It's good for when I'm unable to be alone and curl up somewhere warm with something behind my back, which is what I do for preference. I've even taken a velvet hair scrunchie around with me the last couple of weeks, I can just fidget with it fairly unobtrusively any time I want to.

[BLUEDOVE]

I clap self on shoulders,arms,chest,thighs,while
saying "It's OK,It's OK, I'm here for you,it's OK"

[RainbowG]

Thank you all for sharing. I'm sorry, CalmingOcean, that your husband sees your "ritual" as odd. I don't think it's odd at all. My sister and I have always loved rocking chairs, and to this day, she has a Lazy Boy that she spends as much time on as possible. (I'd have one too, except that I live in a shoebox so there's no room.)

I also color. Just Keep Swimming, have you tried mandala coloring books? You can find some on Amazon. The repetitive motion of coloring and the colors of the crayons (or colored pencils or whatever you use) is very meditative.

I'll sometimes go on YouTube and watch old sitcoms and music videos from the 80s (when I was a teen). Don't know why this soothes me. Maybe because they were an escape for me at a time when I had real emotional difficulties because of the abuse, so I sort of identify them with safety. It doesn't work with sitcoms or shows from any other period of time. Has to be the 80s.

[dandylin]

I fantasize about a safe male that will keep me safe.

[Just keep swimming]

Originally Posted by dandylin

I fantasize about a safe male that will keep me safe.

Nice. I like that idea.

I too rock. I have done it for decades. Even while sitting in a chair watching a movie sometimes I am to be found rocking back and forth. I used to twirl my hair over and over again, but now that I have alopecia and keep it shaved off and wear head coverings, that particular pleasure has been taken.

[Airy]

I'll lay down and imagine someone hugging, snuggling, kissing and affectionately touching me. I feel like a little kid, I think my inner child needs a healing touch.