[lenjan]

I am in the middle of a meltdown that feels like it will never end, and all that's going through my head is, "I want my mommy."

But, my mommy was my abuser.

Do you ever get over wishing you had normally nurturing parents?

[Rhapsody]

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candybear said:
Do you ever get over wishing you had normally nurturing parents?

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I personally do not think we ever truly get over this NEED that was created within us.... part of our blue print as humans.

BUT - I do believe that we can HEAL enough to move past what was lost.... as to live again with Happiness & Joy.

LoVe,
Rhapsody - ((( )))

[Fuzzybear]

I know how you feel

(((((((((((((((( Candy )))))))))))))))))

Love
Fuzzy

[biiv]

im sorry. wish i could help. i dont know the answer. sometimes i think im over not having had a proper father and other times it still hurts. maybe we can find that nuturing somewhere else eventually? that would be a nice thing to believe in.
take care

[biplol]

(((((candybear))))) I think, now that I'm a mommy myself I can see that it wasn't so hard to love a child. My daughter is my life, and I, too, sometimes wish I had had the same.
~tons of hugs~

[Rapunzel]

One of my most destructive patterns involves rejecting people who try to help me. Nothing is ever quite good enough, I guess. Apparently the reason for that is that subconsciously I want to have parents who care about me and love me and do what I need them to to. I try to adopt new parents, and it never works out. I try to re-establish a relationship with my parents, but they disappoint me or I get scared and push them away again. It is really hard not to have had parents who where what you needed parents to be.

The answer, apparently, is to learn to parent yourself and meet your own needs. But of course that's much easier said than done.

TC,
Rap

[FaithisAlive]

I don't think we ever stop needing our mothers to love and nurture us...but I think we have to learn how to love and nuture ourselves....

I am still learning how to do that... its not easy...

Faith

[Soidhonia]

Hello sorry to hear that you are not doing well at this time. You may want to go to support group, so that you will have some support instead of feeling alone. NAMI and DBSA both have very good support groups. Also the hotline number is 1-800-273-TALK if you need to talk to someone when you feel like you need to talk to somone. I hope the best for you. Take care Sincerely Soidhonia

[babs92]

((((Candybear)))))

I can so relate as others do here. When I had abuse counselling a few years ago now we did a visualisation technique. She was reading this out from a book in front of her and I so wish I knew the title of that book! Anyway, it took me on a journey like this..............

I am walking along a beautiful sunset beach with the sound of the gentle waves whipping around my feet as I walk softly in the sand. I see something in the distance, it is all I can see, no one else is around...........I am curious about what I will find but I take my time..............its a small child playing happily in the sand........she is just so beautiful, she looks up at me and holds out her arms.........I scoop her up and hug her and feel her warmth and love.

Who is this child? Its me...........I sobbed in that room from the moment I realised that I was holding and hugging myself as a child. Giving myself love. It was a wonderful but painful experience and very cleansing.

take care

[JustAPixie]

((((((( Candybear ))))))))