going back with the abuser?

I recently had an episode with my BF..to make a long story short we argued and he ended up punching me in the arm..no bruise but he hit me with his fist and then took my car keys so i couldnt leave. I eneded up getting a restraining order and then dropping it. He does have an anger/aggression problem and he is willing to get help... Deep down I know that we can be happy together and i love him sooo much but EVERYONE is telling me not to talk to him etc. Is it sick of me to get back with a person that has a problem like this, even if i really love him, and how do i cope with EVERYONE telling me not to talk to him?

Hi krissi, and welcome to PC.

I understand that you love him. I also understand that you show awareness, and have been recipient of, his anger/rage problems. I'm sorry for that.

I think you can love and support him from a distance while he gets help he needs, then make a decision for further commitment. He needs some help and time and then possibly things will be better without so much upset from others?

I wish you well. Please keep us posted?

KD

Being "willing" to get help (saying he is) and doing it are two different things. I'd wait until he actually starts working on his problems in earnest and made some progress before I got back with him. Have you all started couples therapy or anything?

I didn't quite understand why he took your keys/what the argument was about? You weren't drinking or anything were you and unsafe yourself? My husband hit my arm once but I was trying to electrocute us :-) and had just enough control of myself (my stepmother use to abuse me) to stop and ask him "why?" and he gave a very good answer and I realized I had been acting dangerously and it had been very necessary for him to hit my arm away from the controls.

thank u so much for the advice..I totally agree with what you are saying. It is just so hard because he wants us to "be together" however, i think his main concern right now should be getting help for himself...onyl time will tell...thanks again!
KP

Hello,
You're right, his main concern should be getting help for himself. You do not need to go thru abuse because of his problems that he isn't getting taken care of. It does no good for you, as I have been thru a lot of abuse.
To me, the first punch should be the last. If he's not willing to get help, or is and it's not working, he's not worth it. It will only ruin your self-esteem and your self-worth.
Take Care.