[bird_lover]

Hi...I don't know where else to turn right now. I saw my therapist today. But i just had a thought occur to me. I really need to stop going through old pictures, even though I burned all the ones I thought I should. My dad is disturbed to say it lightly. I now live a block from where I have flashbacks of him abusing me...but i am forcing myself to not remember all the details yet. I left that house. He was hanging onto me with deaths grip. I am trying to get a full time job to get on with my life. But i just remembered him having me pose provocatively when i was growing up all my life. Why????? And now to suddenly walk past a pond and remember things i never thought someone would ever do to another person. I don't know how to feel. Disgusted says it. How do you move past this phase???? How do you form a relationship??? My boyfriend wants to get married eventually and have kids. I am not sure I can ever even have a sexual relationship again. This is gonna take a lot of therapy. So how do I move past this??? I feel like I just took a major step back. And i am living in fear of my dad too cuz i didn't move far enough away and is obsessed with me to no end. Any advice would be appreciated beyond words. Thank you.

[HazelGirl]

It takes time. Lots of time and persistence. It doesn't happen overnight.

[bird_lover]

My PTSD is also causing me problems. The anxiety is better until he threatens me or my car or my boyfriend. I can't believe I actually moved a block from my past. I didn't realize this until 2 days ago. Sigh. Trying to move on. But this is a hard one cuz i was so drugged by a former dr and my parents were both abusive and forced the meds on me. Now I am off them the memories come back. I try to force them out of my mind.....