Expression of emotion: your thoughts?

This is a springboard thread, for the purpose of discussing the general topic I brought up here in this more specific one. I originally posted it a few days ago in social chat, because I didn't know where else to put it. Now it seems, with the direction the topic is going, it probably fits here. In this thread I want to talk, not about the video itself since that was addressed in the other thread, but about strong, loud, scene-creating displays in general. When are they age-appropriate, and when not, and as my psychologist asks, who decides?

Your opinions on the prank and the reaction?

I think the most recent response, from Pfrog, said it best. The one prank may not have warranted her reaction, but who knows what else is being done to her behind the scenes?

Now, because I'm in the process of writing my autobiography, I recall that something I said in the other thread wasn't *quite* correct. I noted that most people, by the time they are this girl's age, have learned to dull the sound effects. The last time I saw someone my own age wailing out loud while crying, I was in second grade, and even then it was a bit of a surprise. Well, not quite true. There was an episode in third grade (trigger warning for those who have been abused by teachers) where I saw one of my friends forcibly pulled from her seat, laid across the top of her desk, and paddled hard, back in the days when these things happened in public schools all the time. The class had been doing quiet study work, and this seemed to come out of nowhere. I have no idea what brought it on. Doodling in her notebook instead of reading the assignment, maybe? Still, that seems like an extreme way to deal with it....

Of course my friend, so suddenly set upon like that, was startled in addition to the physical pain, and after the first couple of swats, her piercing wails drowned out the rest of them. What made me maddest was some of the other classmates laughing at her for "crying like a baby." It seemed reasonable, under those circumstances, and I wonder how many of them would have done the same.

The incident in second grade, the one that took me by surprise--the girl in question had accidentally collided with another student in the doorway of the school assembly room, and they both ended up on the floor. The other student took it in stride, but the girl in question could be heard throughout the room, even though it turned out neither one of them was injured. Is squalling out loud because you fell down but aren't hurt, still normal by the time you're in second grade? I ask because I honestly don't know. One thing is for sure, if I had been that girl, and it happened at home, I certainly would have been told I was overreacting.

How many of us have been taught that to cry is weakness "unless you have a reason," as I've heard it said so many times. "There's nothing wrong with a grown man crying. If he has a reason to." (You don't even have to be a man to face that attitude. I'm not one.) Who decides what is worth crying over, and what isn't? And then who decides at what age we can no longer make noise while we're doing it? When I was in sixth grade, I broke my collarbone on the school playground, didn't cry at all--and wore that fact like a badge of honor. I'm sure nobody would have blamed me if I had cried, but back then, if you didn't even though you had "a reason," it meant you were tough.

Sorry, my mind works in weird ways sometimes.