[nycgal448]

today for vday, my own mom called me ugly.
I need to have her removed.

You don't need her in your life, for sure. I don't know your age. Are you grown and out of the house, I hope?

[blueredgrey]

It doesn't matter if it's V-day or not, your mom shouldn't call you ugly....to that matter no one should call anyone else ugly.....to that matter, I don't think anyone in this world is ugly.

Ppl who criticize others just see their own reflection in others. Somewhere inside your mother feels ugly, that's she boosts her ego by calling you ugly. I know it sounds awful (and it is), maybe that's what your mother experienced in her childhood.

I think you should slowly stop attaching your self-worth to your mother's opinion about you. Accept the fact that she may never look you the way you want her to look at you.
It would be difficult initially and you may believe your mother's abusive words....but slowly and steadily, you need to stop believing in your mother's harsh words about you. Slowly, you need to build your esteem.

I hope you can work with your therapist to do that.

good luck!