[BPD Ghost]

I keep getting angry at the fact that I don't remember all of the abuse. He confessed to my mother and judge of more details than I can even imagine. He said that I wanted it and liked it. I'm angry at the fact that he did that. I'm angry that I can be so ruined mentally over something I don't even remember. I realize that it must be inside me somewhere and that it's eating me from inside. But I'm angry that my mind would deceive me that way. I'm angry at the parole board for letting him go from the time he got from the abuse of my baby sister though he confessed of what he did to me and my other sister. I'm angry that I will never have MY day in court due to the statute of limitations. I'm angry at my mother for not knowing or not believing her intuition. I'm angry at myself for feeling so sorry for myself when my abuse is in the PAST while other children are enduring it at this moment. I'm angry at myself for letting his grip on me remain after all theses years. I'm angry that my conception kept my parents together even though she was leaving him because he beat her. I'm angry that she continued the pregnancy. I'm angry at myself for taking that first breath.

[pegasus]

Hugs! It's ok to be angry about this but not at yourself.

[avlady]

I am sorry you were abused as you were. It will just eat you up inside if you don't get a doc or t or just a friend to talk to it about. I know the feeling, it grew and grew on me till i became sick, so i had to forgive some people but it was not easy. Don't compare yourself to others you have your own problems that you need to address for yourself and your own mental health. That is something i learned as i got older and if i didn't address it when i did i think i would be dead by now. I will pray for you and hope you can get over this positivaly.