[StarLight25]

I just started individual therapy with our current family therapist. My husband and I are guardians to twin 16 year old niece and nephew. through family work I realized I was being triggered and remembering things about my childhood.

Anyway I started therapy. I trust my therapist (mostly) and already have a rapport from the work done in FT. At my last session I disclosed the physical and emotional abuse my parents subjected me to during my entire childhood. In the middle of the session, he said "What about Sexual abuse or molestation?". I said none. That's a lie.

My next session is tomorrow and over the last week I've felt guilty for lying to my therapist. I don't know why I did- I suppose I feel shame. I was molested by one of my father's friends over a 4 month period at age 13. I've never told anyone.

I don't know how to handle this. I feel like I can't even bring up that I lied because I am not ready to talk about this. How should I handle this? Have I messed up the therapeutic relationship already?

I feel sick.

[mazing]

I don't think you have messed it up at all. It can take time to be ready to discuss certain parts of your history. That's ok. If you can I would suggest trying to tell your therapist - even in a letter - and let them know that you are also not ready to discuss it. That allows them to understand where you are coming from and some of your triggers without being pushed into revealing details until you are ready.

If you feel that you can't do that though it's fine as well. Take it slow. I am sure later when you are ready your therapist will understand.

[ThisWayOut]

I've lied before to my t because I want ready to talk about it. When I finally was, I admitted to the lie and why I thought I did it. My t was understanding and we went from there... if it's really bothering you that you lied to your t, you can tell him that you lied, but are not ready to talk about it at this time (as mazing suggested). Most t's are pretty receptive and respectful of those boundaries.

[Rzay4]

It's really hard to tell and I'm sure your T will understand when your able to tell them. It's a long process.

[BPD Ghost]

Find me a sexually abused child who hasn't lied about it. Although you are an adult the child within still works to cover the pain and shame. Therapists are used to it. Don't dwell on the lie. Know that your psyche will allow you to bring it up when you're ready. If the therapist is good. He or she will pick up on it before you put it into precise words. There is a time & place for everything. Honor your feelings and know that your privacy is yours. Even when it comes to your therapist.

[Sky angel]

Originally Posted by StarLight25

I just started individual therapy with our current family therapist. My husband and I are guardians to twin 16 year old niece and nephew. through family work I realized I was being triggered and remembering things about my childhood.

Anyway I started therapy. I trust my therapist (mostly) and already have a rapport from the work done in FT. At my last session I disclosed the physical and emotional abuse my parents subjected me to during my entire childhood. In the middle of the session, he said "What about Sexual abuse or molestation?". I said none. That's a lie.

My next session is tomorrow and over the last week I've felt guilty for lying to my therapist. I don't know why I did- I suppose I feel shame. I was molested by one of my father's friends over a 4 month period at age 13. I've never told anyone.

I don't know how to handle this. I feel like I can't even bring up that I lied because I am not ready to talk about this. How should I handle this? Have I messed up the therapeutic relationship already?

I feel sick.

Dear starlight 25
I just wanted you to not be hard on yourself for denying the sexual abuse to ur doctor... I was sexually abused from 6 years old until I was 14.. The one thing that all my abusers said to me from a baby on is you can't tell anyone.. !! That was so programmed in me that I actually believed that I was the one that was bad and that I was the one who was wrong.. I'm amusing your abuser programmed you to not say anything also.. So what I'm trying to say is you should not feel bad you didn't say it because that was just what u have been programmed to say .. This is just my opinion but I really feel it's a fact..