[Tongalee]

So...

I've found that I'm having a really hard time talking to my therapist about some parts of my history that included sexual abuse. It happened when I was seven and I feel like I really need to talk about it, and be able to materialize what I'm feeling to better understand everything. It might be stupid, but I feel like I really want to tell my therapist EVERYTHING, including the details that I remember.

However, I know that my therapist has kids, and if my analysis of what she has told me surrounding them (since she hasn't given me any concrete information since it has never been necessary) they are in elementary school, and I have some suspicions that she has a seven year old. When I first told her about it she got really upset. I can't in good conscious continue to put these thoughts and images in her head. I can't imagine how this would affect me if the situation were in reverse.

Does anyone have any suggestions or advice? Please don't tell me that I should look into finding another therapist without kids. I will not start this terrible process over again with someone new. If this doesn't work, then I will simply end therapy and work things out on my own.

Thanks

[Stronger]

I'm so sorry. I know how you feel. I was sexually abused around that age too and I'm having a hard time talking about it with my t. But, it's more because I just don't know how to.
Maybe you could try writing out everything you want to tell her and wait till her kids get a little older to give say it all. Maybe that's a bad idea, because that would mean waiting, and it sounds like you want to talk about it now.

One of the times I was in the hospital, I remember telling my t there that I didn't want to talk about things because I didn't want to make her feel bad. She said to me "dear, I wouldn't be an inpatient therapist if I didn't know how to handle this stuff". Yeah, she had a point, I realized.
Maybe you could think about it that way with your t? Because she is a trained, licensed therapist after all. Have you asked her if it's ok for you to talk about it with her? I kind of doubt that she'll tell you that you can't.

Know that you have my sympathies, friend. You matter. And she needs to be there for you, because it's her job.
I hope it works out
And don't forget..........you matter!

[nicoleflynn]

I am concerned that she got upset. Her life has nothing to do (with any of her clients) with her ability to be a good therapist. You should/need to feel free to talk about anything, and it is wonderful that you WANT to talk about everything; that is the only way to begin to heal. hugs

[allme]

Hi, I think it was very unprofessional of her to show she her emotions. You should be able to talk about anything including the abuse. Otherwise what's the point? I also think it's a good idea to write a letter. For your recovery, this needs to be spoken about and you need to heal.

Best of luck

[Tongalee]

To respond to her expression of feelings, it was after I had left. I came back to ask her a question and saw that she was teary and looking a little disheveled. She was very quick to regroup when she noticed that I was there and remained very strong for the short remainder of our conversation. I think that she is a brilliant therapist and has worked very hard with me on many things. In fact, I think that her expression of discomfort, or upset, is actually beneficial to me. It shows me that this is an upsetting matter, and something to have feelings about which is something that I'm working on. Thank you for your replies though, and I will consider writing her a letter, though it still doesn't solve the problem that she has little kids at home.

Stronger - I think the way you put it is a good way of looking at things. I need to be able to trust that she has the coping mechanisms in her corner that allow her to hear these types of stories and be with her feelings enough that she doesn't express them in the same devastating way that I do. Thanks for your comment and your hugs Best of luck to you in the journey through your own struggles.