[Ccgirl2014]

Two years ago in August 2012, I went to a friend of my best friends house party where everyone was drinking and smoking weed from a vaporizer. This had been my first time drinking and smoking weed at the same time. All was fine, until after playing a few drinking games I decided to sit down on the couch and put my drink down. All I remember was feeling tired and for some reason I got up and walked into my friends bedroom to rest without telling anyone. I remember laying on the bed and everything being black. I had a million thoughts going on, i thought that something was wrong with me and everyone at the party thought I was weird. Then, all I can remember was feeling as if I was not in my body and feeling like I could not wake up. I felt as if I was laying down on someone, I felt a heartbeat underneath me. I started hearing some type of high pitched singing that I cannot describe, it was something I never heard before. I felt as if I was dead and kept thinking I wasn't going to wake up. I had a whole bunch of negative thoughts in my head full of all of my regrets. I kept thinking I was going to hell. I did wake up when my friend came to find me and I deduced that several hours had passed, and I had been blacked out for at least 3 hours. I didn't think much of it until I woke up the next morning and used the bathroom and my genital area felt sore. I home that morning and saw a dry white/clearish substance on my inner thigh. I did not go to the hospital so I don't know if I was drugged and raped. I just felt so disconnected for the next 3 days after. I felt as if I had actually died and I wasn't really living. I would have conversations with people and then question if I had really spoke to them because it felt as though the words were not really coming out of my mouth and I was not in my body. This wore off after 3 days and I finally came to some sort of reality.. Does anyone know what happened to me?

[Travelinglady]

Hi, Ccgirl2014! Of course, I can't say for sure, never have experiencing anything like what you describe, but it could certainly be that you were drugged with something and then raped. The soreness and the substance that sounds like it could be semen does fit the scenario. And maybe you were dealing with that experience psychologically, as well as the lingering effects of the drug(s) afterwards.

[PrairieCat]

Sounds like a very bad "trip." I guess you know not to do that again, honey. It really sounds as if something did occur, what you suspect. I am very sorry you went through that. Any kind of drug combined with alcohol is really dangerous. But I think it was not your fault that someone may have drugged and raped you. Get checked by a doctor just to be sure you are okay, and by that I mean not pregnant and free of STD's. Take very good care of yourself and don't take risks anymore, okay? I wish you the best.

[sideblinded]

Sounds like a very bad situation. I am sorry that happened to you.

Always bring a friend with you to parties when you don't know everyone. This friend should be aware of your whereabouts especially when being gone for a few hours.

Please be cautious dear,

Take care

[Ccgirl2014]

I just want to thank everyone for your support, this post on his is the first time I'm telling anyone about this and I was afraid of sounding stupid. This happened to me two years ago and I still wonder what happened that night but I have moved on and I do make better decisions. I don't wish this on anyone.

[cryingontheinside]

I have also been raped at a party 8 years ago. I did the same as you, after a drinking compition and drugs i passed on a bed, also without telling anyone. When i woke up i was being raped. He also stole my phone. I didnt feel that i could go to the police as id been drunk and taking drugs. I remember being more angry that he stole my phone than the rape, i think thats because i was confused and maybe in denial. It sounds like something did happen to you too

[Ccgirl2014]

Yeah, as soon as I saw the dry clearish stuff on my thigh my first instinct was to take a shower and I kept forcing myself to believe it was lotion or toothpaste or something when I know it doesn't dry like what I saw...I was also afraid of my parents finding out because I didn't want them to worry. I was put in the hospital by an ex because of domestic violence and I remembered how much they worried.
I just remember being way too disoriented for the following 3 days that I couldn't make the right decision to go to the hospital . And weed and alcohol never has that effect on me for that long which further leads me to think there was something else involved. I asked my best friend to help fill me in on what happened that night but she said she was also too drunk to remember, but she wasn't as bad a me and I wish someone could have supported me in telling me to go to the hospital... Because those first two days are critical in doing a rape kit... Ugh too late. I just need to continue believing nothing happened

[monkeybrains21]

Sounds like ur bud could have been laced. More an more frequently especially in places where it's illegal, have been known to be laced with pcp, cocaine, poisons, and any other number. Whenever I used to smoke I'd inspect it first. Ppl thought I was weird but I had an exes bro actually try to give me laced bud. Medical is always safest but hard to get unless u live in locations that allow it but even then u have to have a script. Plus that buds expensive. Vaporizers don't usually give the high most expect. In fact I've never gotten stoned from a vape.

I too used to smoke a lot and mix alcohol sometimes. Even after being raped by 2naval officers and passing randomly out, I didn't learn my lesson. Even after a few more incidents I still didn't learn. I kept drinking and occasionally smoking mixed in before if go on military bases or out with guys. I was in the closet and just wanted to be straight like everyone else. I changed after one night I had been with a marine sniper and then another followed me to the bathroom when all I wanted was to be left alone. I know some say it's not my fault I was intoxicated, but I kept getting intoxicated and putting myself in these positions all because it ingrained in me and our society that being gay or lesbian or trans is wrong. I don't feel shame being lesbian now but I really hate what I made myself endure.