[BeGentle]

I was recently speaking about family sexual abuse is session about how the oldest confirmed what I saw way back when. She never told anybody because she did not think anyone would beleive her. It has destroyed her life. I am from a large family, mostly female. I am in the middle. T told me that in his experience (35 years) the father usually does not stop at the oldest, he goes down the line. That made me sick and totally cringe and I became frozen, wondering about my other sisters. I have avoided, vehemently, my father my entire life; mostly never knowing why I was petrified of him. Two older sister, drinking, accosted me several years ago and asked me why I don't like our father and then both laughed in my face asking me, sarcastically, if he sexually abused me. I was stunned; they laughed and walked away; mind you, they were in there late twenties. I told T and he said they wanted to know if I was a memeber of the club. That made sense and made me crushingly sad. Of course, denial and secrets reigns supreme in my family, so I am the odd one out and no one will speak to me because I am facing the truth. I will say I have always wondered why most of my sister's worshiped the father. Reading up on this I have discovered it is called "Identifying With The Agrressor", where they move closer to him is kind of a emotionally perverted way for "protection" and some kind of alliance where it may be the only way they receive attention and "safety" from the father. A very interesting phenomenon. Any thoughts or stories would be appreciated.

[nicoleflynn]

Also like the Stockholm syndrome (or Bidermans chart of coercion). There is a saying that you are only as healthy as your biggest secret. I can't tell from what you have said; sounds like your father didn't abuse you?

[IrisBloom]

Being sexually abused does not adversely affect everyone. Some people get over it and go on with no trauma. Often in a family situation the abused girl will feel "special" even if she knows the attention she is getting is not right. Your sisters might be jealous that you did not have to go through what they went through, or they might feel your father favored them over you. Even if you were not abused it could still be affecting you.

I'm the odd one out in my family too. I've never believed in lying or slanting the truth, or sweeping things under the rug. Some people just don't want to hear truth. It's more comfortable to live in their own version of reality.