[prinssa]

Me and my sex partner at the time got drunk at a party and later headed to his place. He had sex with me on the bed forcefully and once it got too painful I pushed him after telling him several times to stop. I was too drunk to successfully get him off me at first and my friends claim that night he was not as drunk as me. IAnyway after I go him off me I went to the restroom and noticed large amounts of blood. I was already sexually active obviously but I had never had the other types of sex. I left to my place since we lived in the same building. I felt so violated and useless. I went to my neighbors to get high and not think about what had just happened. I felt like I needed some kind of security or protection. Or as if I needed the right kind of sex to erase what happened? I then had sex with my neighbor and it gave me the same temporary fix as the high did. I then began to have one night stands and multiple sex partners. For 4 days straight I had sex with 4 different men. These were all men my age. Was this due to the rape incident? Sadly I was still with this guy who raped me who years later became my official bf. But when we were together it was always me doing the sex. It felt like a chore having to have sex with him or was he abusing me that's why it felt like a chore but at the same time I had strong feelings for him? I liked that he was pleased but I didn't get any action. He was so boring and horrible at sex I got it else where while being with him. To me it seemed fun at the time being with others who were 10x better than him. I never admitted any of the immediate sexual encounters after the incident to him. And he thinks still thinks today that he did not abuse of me. We are not together now. But what the heck was all that?

[nicoleflynn]

Find a good therapist........see a dr. to make sure you didn't contract any diseases.

I have heard good things about RAINN (rape crisis center)

[prinssa]

Yes I seen a therapist after the incident happened. I mostly explained what happened but I did not discuss about the other sexual encounters. I did not get a clear understanding then if it was rape.
I also did went to see a doctor and I had high risk HPV. I do not have it now.