[CalmingOcean]

Have you guys heard of this?

In only my first three session with my trauma T I have learned so much. My first appointment I learned just how bad I dissociate, a term now that I look back on everything and pay attention to my actions know, I can't believe this is a foreign word to me all this time. Anyways, I felt a bit open and some emotion was able to come through on when she was trying to get background info I did end up crying a bit. She said that was good that I didn't speak of it like a robot, so that's good.

Second visit, I had no idea what happened. I had group just before our visit as usual, and I was my usual self there, but the second I saw T it was like a switch in me I couldn't control. I was hyper, talking a thousand miles a minute, forgetting what I was suppose to be answering. She then explained the window of tolerance. God it makes so much sense- at the oddest of times I would get these stupid hyper fits that I just couldn't control, and tho I liked feeling extremely happy, sometimes it came at the worse and awkward of times. While reading more (because it's what I do) a lot of people with chronic PTSD are mis- diagnosed as bipolar because of these huge changes in mood!

Anyways, my third visit, I learned how sometimes people with CPTSD will split themselves into parts, because the person who is at home enduring the abuse can't go out into the world and be that abused person or you wouldn't survive. But until all my parts want therapy and trust her, then she could end up just making me worse by pushing forward (into EMDR). So I said 'ok... What do we do now'. And she said 'this'. So.... This is just talking about whatever... I guess whatever comes up? I am really knew to the therapy thing so I don't know what goes down. I watch a lot of EMDR youtube videos and it all seems kinda... I don't know. I have a lot of small things that bother me, but to waste someone's time on it doesn't seem right to me.

Anyways, sorry back to the window of tolerance thing- T says her and the other gal in her office who does EMDR for trauma want to start up a group in Sept with a small group of people to learn how to increase your window of tolerance. This all seems weird... I thought I had pretty good tolerance haha!

[kaliope]

yeah, seeing a t that specializes in trauma can change your world. I went to t for three years and was getting nowhere. I was a mess. changed to a trauma t and found out I was DID and now have been working with my alters and my anxiety is greatly reduced. don't like all the things im remembering from childhood but I guess that is how I am going to heal. take care.

[CalmingOcean]

Originally Posted by kaliope

yeah, seeing a t that specializes in trauma can change your world. I went to t for three years and was getting nowhere. I was a mess. changed to a trauma t and found out I was DID and now have been working with my alters and my anxiety is greatly reduced. don't like all the things im remembering from childhood but I guess that is how I am going to heal. take care.

Yeah I suppose hey. Glad you are doing much better than before,

[ThisWayOut]

Hmm, I will have to look into the "window of tolerance" thing because it makes a while bunch of sense to me. No one has put those words to it for me, but I can relate to simply needing a break after something heavy (actually experiencing it now with this new t). Glad you are benefiting from therapy already. And I have to agree, working with a trauma therapist is like night and day in terms of progress...

[CalmingOcean]

Originally Posted by ThisWayOut

Hmm, I will have to look into the "window of tolerance" thing because it makes a while bunch of sense to me. No one has put those words to it for me, but I can relate to simply needing a break after something heavy (actually experiencing it now with this new t). Glad you are benefiting from therapy already. And I have to agree, working with a trauma therapist is like night and day in terms of progress...

My T is actually pretty amazing to me... The way she just seems to tell what I need at that moment. And she knows I like to 'know things'. Not that I am overly smart, just very curious as to what is going on. It's fascinating stuff if you look into it.