[keepitreal88]

I really need some help im dealing with a person ive been with for 2 years and he means a lot to me .He does a lot of weed everyday all day sometimes he pops handlebars. and sometimes he does promethazine codeine im pregnant now this my second pregnancy by him the first pregnancy I miscarried but he was excited that I was pregnant now he tells me I need to kill the baby that baby isn't his baby he say all types of mean and hateful things he is now accusing me of being with his friends that I don't even associate myself with at all I don't have they number I don't have anything also he lash out at his mother yell at her screams at her he is very un controllable he feels like he has power and control but he has that over his mom but not me he is very verbal abusive he spit on me calls me very bad words then a couple days later he is back to his normal self sometimes he want even calls me for some days after we get into an argument. also I feel like his mother engage into his behavior cause he will totally disrespect her but she will give him what he wants what is the problem? what should I do?

[splitimage]

Hi and welcome to PC.

I'm sorry you're going through such a rough time. But I'm going to be a bit blunt. The guy is an addict. And addicts are unpredictable, and can lash out in anger, when they don't get their way. Pot also makes some people paranoid which could explain, why he's accusing you of being with his friends.

He doesn't sound like a safe person to be around. I'm an ex alcoholic and addict, and I was completely useless to anyone, until I got clean and sober.

Re your baby - only you can decide what to do. But don't expect him to be around as a father, either monetarily, or in any meaningful role. Decide if you want and can handle being a single Mom, and then make your decisions.

You deserve better.

splitimage

[keepitreal88]

Originally Posted by splitimage

Hi and welcome to PC.

I'm sorry you're going through such a rough time. But I'm going to be a bit blunt. The guy is an addict. And addicts are unpredictable, and can lash out in anger, when they don't get their way. Pot also makes some people paranoid which could explain, why he's accusing you of being with his friends.

He doesn't sound like a safe person to be around. I'm an ex alcoholic and addict, and I was completely useless to anyone, until I got clean and sober.

Re your baby - only you can decide what to do. But don't expect him to be around as a father, either monetarily, or in any meaningful role. Decide if you want and can handle being a single Mom, and then make your decisions.

You deserve better.

splitimage

thank you for your support and I recently found out that he had went to anger management years ago and he didn't want to go back so him mom took him out can his mother be part of the blame also

[lizardlady]

I am also going to be blunt. You said he is verbally abusive to you and has spit on you. Abusers escalate their behavior unless something happens to convince them to change. As Splitimage said, your boyfriend is an addict. From what you posted it doesn't sound like he has any interest in getting clean. Frankly, I'm concerned for your safety and the safety of your baby. What happens if during one of his rages he decides to end your pregnancy himself?

[keepitreal88]

Originally Posted by lizardlady

I am also going to be blunt. You said he is verbally abusive to you and has spit on you. Abusers escalate their behavior unless something happens to convince them to change. As Splitimage said, your boyfriend is an addict. From what you posted it doesn't sound like he has any interest in getting clean. Frankly, I'm concerned for your safety and the safety of your baby. What happens if during one of his rages he decides to end your pregnancy himself?

First of all thank you guys for responding I need all the support I can get cause I was getting to the point of blaming myself like am I not good enough for him and he doesn't want to change he had opportunities to change but he feels like he is not ready yet so I just stay away for right now he also threating me saying if I don't get an abortion then he is going to punch me in the stomach

[Bluegrey]

I'm so sorry you are going through this.

Is there someone you can talk to, who can help you keep safe? I think that is the priority at the moment.


Bluegrey

[SkyWhite]

I agree with everyone here. He's an addict and severely abusive. And pot will make you paranoid. This guy sounds dangerous. If he's threatening to punch you in the stomach there is a good chance he'll do it. As far as his being ready to change, don't wait around for that happen because it may never happen. You deserve better, remember that.

Is there a women's shelter you can go to or a counselor that can help you through this? You need a lot of support right now.

Welcome to PC. Post here any time. It's a great place for support and just clearing your head.