[precaryous]

It's been maybe twenty years and I still don't know what happened to me. I still don't know what to call it. I have looked at online definitions of rape and some of them fit the situation...but - ahhh!

Those that recognize my screen name here know the person who had sex with me was my psychiatrist.

I agreed to part of the sexual act between us- but I told him I would not do "X" ..and he physicallyforced me to do "x" anyway. I agreed to intercourse. This is where my mind feels screwed up. The act I said "no" to was not intercourse...I said "no" to an aspect of fellatio. Was that rape??

Even when I reported it to police and my T, no one acted like it was rape. Maybe it wasn't?

But then, what happened to me? Nothing? It's equally my fault?

I don't know what to call it...and that makes it impossible to name my pain, why I'm angry and struggling.

What is rape? What do I call what happened to me?

[allme]

Hi

I might to wrong, but I think rape is someone forcing you into intercourse...what you describe sounds like sexual abuse. Look, no matter what it's name, what happened was wrong and I hope you are in treatment for it now. I know the pain of crossing line with t and for that alone you will need help, let alone him forcing you into a sexual act. I am so sorry this happened to you....

And for the record, NONE of it was your fault...the fault is without doubt lies with HIM. IMO he needs locking up and I hope he loses his license. Reporting him was very brave, I hope at the end of it, it brings you some amount of peace.

[Angelique67]

To me it's any sex you don't want and either say so or are afraid (for your life) to say so.

[kindachaotic]

So so sorry this happened to you. Not your fault.
Was it rape? Yes.
Google 'oral rape' but only if you feel safe & won't get triggered.
You are not alone. I was 8 yrs old, it was teenage next door neighbor.
Gentle (((hugs))) to you.

[precaryous]

Originally Posted by kindachaotic

So so sorry this happened to you. Not your fault.
Was it rape? Yes.
Google 'oral rape' but only if you feel safe & won't get triggered.
You are not alone. I was 8 yrs old, it was teenage next door neighbor.
Gentle (((hugs))) to you.

Omg, I'm sorry that happened to you. I can't imagine what you must have went through at 8 years old and what you must be experiencing now.

Thank you so much for this post. I did Google it and you have helped me so much! I was going to pieces.

Pre