[Confused213]

You are not what happened to you.
You are not dirty because of someone else's actions
You are not at fault
It was not your fault

You are valued
You are precious
You are loved

You can have a true father--
Your Heavenly Father is not like your corrupted father here on this earth.
You can be the daughter or son of Someone better;
Someone who grieves for your loss with you, not one who inflicts evil on you.
He is good, but the world is evil.

People on this forum have experienced the fully broken parts of the world-- the complete inadequacy and perversion of sin.

You were sinned against-- you aren't dirty

It wasn't your fault
It's not your fault
It's not your fault.

----

Finally. Finally, I've accepted the truth. I know now what is real, and that it doesn't hold power over me.

I saw, randomly actually, a program in which a woman had forgotten what happened to her and then remembered it a decade later. The only thing that was preventing me from believing my memories was that recovered memories rarely or never have physical supporting evidence-- but this woman had proof.

So she wasn't crazy--

That means that I'm probably not crazy like I thought I was.
If she could have forgotten, then that makes sense for me.
No one hypnotized me or suggested to me that I was abused. The memories came to me by themselves.

One was triggered yesterday. It was stupid and it hurt.

I started freaking out like crazy on Sunday once I realized that everything that I was suspicious of was actually true. I never had actually believed it-- I just assumed I had these memories, true or untrue, and I was trying to disprove them to myself.

So, freaking out, I had a panic attack. But all of the sudden, I was quiet inside. And I felt in my spirit, "I've got you". I didn't audibly hear the voice of God, but I felt it. No matter how tipsy turvy and perverse this world becomes or acts upon me, He's got me.

The details don't matter as much as His love for me.
I might've been molested (I'm pretty sure I was), and I know I was sexually assaulted/harassed by one person multiple times in high school. And he's okay. He's doing well. They both are.

But if they don't come to repentance, they will be judged by God. And God will wreak vengeance upon them for the things they did to me unless they accept his grace.

Vengeance is His, not mine.
Judgement is His, not mine.

That's freeing.

All you have to do is rest in grace and move forward from grief.

Thank you for this.

[Confused213]

Glad I could help