[keithalanveeder]

I told my mother today all about how a cousin had sexually abused me for years over 30 years ago. I feel much better after getting out of me, now we have to see how she'll deal with the secret I carried around for decades.

[kaliope]

I am glad you were able to get this secret out into the open and that it made you feel better. I hope your mother is able to cope with it. take care.

[Frankbtl]

Hi Keith, it must have taken a lot to tell your mother that, real respect!!!
And it's good that you've managed to "break the silence", it really isn't something you should have to keep to yourself, cope with alone/without your mother there to support you.
You didn't chose for that to happen, it wasn't your fault.
Now initially maybe your mother might struggle with it, ideally any mother would find it hard to hear that their child had been sexually abused, but I really hope she comes through for you.
But you know, however she takes it, we're right here for you regardless.

Alison

[keithalanveeder]

On October 18th, 2014, I told my mother all about how a cousin had sexually abused me for years over 30 years ago. I felt much better after getting that decades old secret out of me, it was a cancer eating at my sanity. On October 25th, 2014, I got her opinion, and I quote "Well, you were both kids, and she's only a year older than you."

Thanks for that, Mom. I'll just put that load back onto my shoulders, along with my Asperger's and Schizotypal Personality Disorder and General Mood Disorder NOS and Diabetes 2.

I'm right back to where I was on 10/17/14, carrying 30 plus years of secret abuse memories and secret memories of perverted sex dreams with my mother, sister and both grandmothers because some animal abused my cousin, then she abused me. Mom would rather I not mention what happened to me or my cousin to her again or to anyone else? NO! I WILL NOT BE SILENT!

Do not go gentle into that good night
Dylan Thomas, 1914-1953

Do not go gentle into that good night,
Old age should burn and rave at close of day;
Rage, rage against the dying of the light.

Though wise men at their end know dark is right,
Because their words had forked no lightning they
Do not go gentle into that good night.

Good men, the last wave by, crying how bright
Their frail deeds might have danced in a green bay,
Rage, rage against the dying of the light.

Wild men who caught and sang the sun in flight,
And learn, too late, they grieved it on its way,
Do not go gentle into that good night.

Grave men, near death, who see with blinding sight
Blind eyes could blaze like meteors and be gay,
Rage, rage against the dying of the light.

And you, my father, there on the sad height,
Curse, bless, me now with your fierce tears, I pray.
Do not go gentle into that good night.
Rage, rage against the dying of the light.

[Frankbtl]

Hi Keith, I'm sorry she reacted that way
But in a way the most important thing in it all wasn't your mothers reaction, it was the fact that you spoke out about it. You stopped keeping silent about it, and you shouldn't have to keep on keeping silent about it.
And abuse is abuse, there's no changing that...........whether she was a year older than you or even a year younger than you (!!!) if she abused you, she abused you!!!
And you're not back to where you were 10/1/14, you know that deep down, don't you??
Even if your mother didn't hear you, you've spoken out to us, and we hear you. And there will be plenty of people out there who will hear you too.
So, no more silence!!! Time to get some help/support, help you absolutely deserve. From here I'd say maybe a T, an abuse hotline or organization.g. RAINN??? Although we're right here for you too if you want to talk about it...........

Alison