[Anxiety223]

So i have been with my new man for over 2 years. He struggles a lot with what happened to me. I was recently diagnosed with an anxiety disorder, and to be honest he is not being very helpful. I took him to my doctor so she could explain it to him but it has turned out to be a big mistake. Maybe once or twice a year he loses his temper and tries to break up with me. He knows that it makes me extremely upset and gives me panic attacks, its like he has an alter ego and he turns into a cold, heartless man. He did this to me last week, the night before my birthday. Ive been sick for 2 years, perhaps with chronic fatigue and recurrent pneumonia. He got right up to my face, shaking and spitting, and said he couldn't deal with me anymore, it was my fault I was sick and didn't believe that his actions give me panic attacks, despite him witnessing it on many occasions. But this time instead of getting upset, i got angry and just wanted to get away from him, so i said i had had enough. He said he was done with me and i just said whatever.
The next morning, i woke up to him hugging me and he was very affectionate, couldn't do enough for me and i thought i had called his bluff and he was feeling guilty. Things have been great all week until today, when he thanked me for manning up and not being upset. What he doesn't realise is that it has nothing to do with him, i had a f you attitude this week and decided he wont get away with doing that to me anymore.
I guess i had to vent, as ive been holding it in all week and had to get it off my chest. I will be telling my doctor today and hopefully she will talk to him.
He is very stubborn, he has made up his own mind about my condition and wont accept what he has been told.
Any advice?

[CANDC]

Sorry to hear you are struggling with the situation.
Well I am not sure if I can give advice, but one thing I notice is you only mention him and you. There seems to be chains keeping you together so if one pulls back the other one tries to patch things up.
What about having a support group. Someone else like a group or therapist could help you get things to a manageable state plus you wouldn't try to make him your therapist. If you are not on medicine, then a psychiatrist could try to help you manage with your anxiety.
As long as you do not feel your life is threatened, it may be a troubling relationship is better than no people.
Seems like the relationship is not the key to getting better as much as dealing with the anxiety so that you can stabilize your life to work and play the way you really want to deep inside.

[Anxiety223]

Originally Posted by CANDC

Sorry to hear you are struggling with the situation.
Well I am not sure if I can give advice, but one thing I notice is you only mention him and you. There seems to be chains keeping you together so if one pulls back the other one tries to patch things up.
What about having a support group. Someone else like a group or therapist could help you get things to a manageable state plus you wouldn't try to make him your therapist. If you are not on medicine, then a psychiatrist could try to help you manage with your anxiety.
As long as you do not feel your life is threatened, it may be a troubling relationship is better than no people.
Seems like the relationship is not the key to getting better as much as dealing with the anxiety so that you can stabilize your life to work and play the way you really want to deep inside.

Thank you very much for your reply. I know he wouldn't hurt me, but he sends my anxiety through the roof when he starts. I do think therapy would help us both, problem is that he can't be criticised and i seize up when it comes to talking. If we could get to a place where he would actually listen and could voice our problems that would be great.