[secretgalaxy]

I have always had shame from this, but it didn't really hit me until a few weeks ago. As a kid I was semi-forced to do sexual things with another boy who was 3 years older than me. I was 4ish and he was around 7. In the beginning I thought it was a new game but it started getting out of control. By the second day of this "game" I wanted it to stop but he said that if I don't do what he wants, he would do bad things to my family and if I told anyone he would hurt me. It went on for about a week or two until my mom found us together one day and ended it. I couldn't tell her what happened and why I was undressed, so after a while she dropped it. He lived right beside me in the next house and I would see him often and he would tell me about how he would kill my family for what I did to him. He moved a few months later. He was only 7.

Is this considered abuse?

I would think that because he was so young that it was just exploration, but he was so mean about it. I don't know what to think about this situation. Any advice will be much appreciated.

[kaliope]

yes it was abuse. exploration is between children in the same age bracket, which you were not. he obviously knew what he was doing was wrong as well or he would not have threatened to harm your family. when you are exploring, you do not view it as wrong. that is why you felt shame, because you knew deep down that it wasn't right, please talk this over with a t that specializes in abuse. take care.

[secretgalaxy]

I am seeing a T who specializes in abuse for other types of abuse that happened to me as well. I have been trying to discuss this one with her, but I haven't been able to get the words out yet. Now that I know what it actually is and can file it neatly in my memories, hopefully it will be easier to say to her. Thank you for clarifying this to me!