[Alpha03]

Hey guys,

I'm new to this forum. Three years ago on 23 April 2011, I tell you what happened:

I went to my uncle X's house. I sat adjacent to uncle Y. I was sitting there watching the television and minutes later uncle Y said to me strangely looking at me up and down in a very arrogant manner with a cold voice "can you cook"?, I said "yes". Then suddenly, he went on to insult me and said arrogantly in an sarcastic manner to my father "are you worried your son is not going to get wife" right in front of me, what makes it worse is that I was very, very shy back then, so in essence he was taking advantage of my shyness. He said those words in a very cold manner right in front of me, knowing I am shy person.

My father, wasn't watching or listening to this, so he did not register this. He then started a conversation with my father who was proud of me since I went to top university at 21 saying I'm a man now, which once gain, uncle Y very, very aggressively pointed his hand towards my face and said "I'm not a man!" I did not what to do, I wanted to get a wooden baseball bat and take his head off, that's how I felt at the moment. I told one of my peer mentors which every student got a mentor at university and he said, "why did you let him get away with this"?

That is the worst thing someone has ever done to me, he insulted, verbally abused me, I felt bullied the man had the arrogance to say what he did. He never even apologised for what he had done, which tells you something about his character.

I know this is 3 years ago, however, My other uncle remembers details of what had happened 30 years ago when he was a kid saying "I remember my sister in law, who was looking at me from the window and laughing at me when I was hanging clothes on the line and saying he will never forget it" and furthermore, other things which other people have done 15-20 years ago. Even famous people are going to jail for something they had did in the 1970s and 1980s, this only happened three years ago.

The reason why I let him off was I have a good relationship with his children and if I said anything, he would have got humiliated for sure, thus humiliating his own family, his own parents. I felt sorry for his parents.

If I bring this up now, nobody will remember this and maybe they may even lie about this. However, I know what had happened, their was a function the next day and I remember the details of what happened the first thing when I got there, which people greeted me, who was serving my dinner, where I was sitting etc and even have told my friends about this.

There were also other times when I he came to my house and said nasty things about me in a cold manner, thus slightly affecting my self confidence, which I am not expected to fight back.

I hated how the man treated me while I was a teenager up until that moment.

[kaliope]

hi alpha
i think you are more than shy, you are sensitive as well. your uncle made some off hand comments because he obviously doesn't think very highly of you. you say he has treated you poorly all your life. did you expect him to say something positive? what you have to do is realize that this is about his character and has nothing to do with you. he is just a bad man. as you said, you are someone of good character whose father is proud of you. your uncle is just a bad apple so you should not be taking what he has to say seriously. i think it probably hurts that your dad did not defend you though. the best thing to do is act as if your uncle doesn't exist. he does not know you for who you really are so his opinion does not count. welcome to psych central. you will find we have several forums where you can post about your concerns and receive feedback from other members. you will get a lot of support here. again, welcome

[healingme4me]

In asking how to deal with this, if he's choosing to talk about you, as if not in the room, keep a distance. Mirror, your father, perhaps, even?

Sorry you went through this.

Sent from my LGMS323 using Tapatalk

[mimsies]

You're uncle is a loser. Your father is a wise man, being proud of you. Remember, your father's regard is far more important than your uncle's disdain. Stay away from him, otherwise ignore him- he ain't worth the dust he's standin' on. You are worth more that 20 of him!

[Alpha03]

Thank you very much for the reply guys! I appreciate your comments!

One question I would like to ask is if nobody believes me? The man is very popular in the community, nobody thinks bad of him? I told one of university peer mentors, several of my friends and I can remember what happened and everything what happened in the function the next day.