[bossius]

I was 14 when my parents divorced, it was a long and drawn out fight. I was involved in every way, even financially towards the end. As the oldest of five I had to take care of my siblings when I could, I watched my world be ripped apart, watched my mum cry, saw things falling away. I watched drugs steal my two younger brothers, and I was powerless to stop it. On top of it all, I was bullied something terrible when I was in elementary/middle school, and it caused me to be a very bitter, angry highschooler, devoid of any social skills, and only 2 friends, who they themselves are social butterflies.

I resent my childhood being taken, being forced to take so much responsibility so young, I resent that there are people who have had it worse and are better off than I am, I fear and don't understand women, and disapprove of the general college party mindset, while at the same time, I wish I could be part of it. I'm a social mess, I know that there is no quick fix, but I just want to have a happy life, rather than just live out of spite for those who have it good, and those who've hurt me. I've heard all the maxims, all the quotes, but nothing changes the fact that I'm a misunderstood, angry island in a sea of people born into good fortune. How do I escape, how did you escape?

[mimsies]

The only thing that ever helps me get through anger or being distraught is to help someone else. I especially like to volunteer with kids, like tutoring, teaching extracurricular classes, directing youth plays, being a mentor. Joining in on food drives, or collecting clothes, jackets, warm things, toys, etc. for needy families and kids, brings great relief, and often happiness to me.

I know, that is like totally hokey and corny and cheesy, etc. but it really helps me when I feel bitter and hurt. Especially when I get to meet and help make it better for someone who has gone through things similar to what I have gone through.

I am sorry if this doesn't help at all. but... *((((((((HUG))))))))*

[bossius]

well, I've only ever done things for myself since all that stuff happened, so I guess it wont hurt to try. Thanks, I'll find something to help with, maybe h4h or something. what sorts of things have you tried? what do you find is the best?

[mimsies]

Like I said, my favorite is working with kids. I have volunteered in schools and youth organizations (like boys and girls clubs). 4H is a great idea! When you feel a little more stable and confident, you may want to check out Big Brothers big sisters or associated programs, like Lunch Buddies. Most likely you will need to get a security check if you want to work with kids, but that is no big deal. It is something they do to keep kids safe since not all people who want to volunteer with children have the children's interest at heart.

I also enjoy working with the local community theatre. I don't go onstage, but there about a zillion things that need to be done for productions from stage crew, to designing fliers and programs, to running light and sound boards or spotlights, etc.

Volunteering at a soup kitchen or something like that always gives me a warm fuzzy feeling, too.