[Baizyl]

Everyone puts trigger warnings before posting this stuff, so I want to do that too. Don't read if you're susceptible to any kind of abuse triggers, because what I'm about to describe here is pretty severe.



You were warned....




My first abuse memory was at 5 or 6 years old. I don't remember what led up to it, but I distinctly recall everything that followed. My dad threatened my older brother. I can remember the exact words, but I won't repeat them here. My brother fled to his room, but my dad broke down the door. I ran off and hid in my closet as my dad threatened my brother and my brother screamed for help. I know that it was all talk and no actual beating that time. My dad got more satisfaction out of terrorizing us than physically harming us.

One of the milder examples is that he would violently trash my room if it wasn't up to his standards, which was every time. He'd then give me a time limit to get it right. If I didn't, I got locked in my closet for a while. He deliberately reversed the doorknob for that purpose.

The scariest thing is that he could change himself instantly, depending on who he talked to. Behind closed doors he was a sociopathic nutjob. Around everyone else, he was a the nicest man on earth, who'd never harm a fly. Everything would change. His face, what words he used, how he said things...

One more and I'm done for now... My older brother started taking things out on me as we got older. Physically, instead of emotional terrorizing like my dad did. I had my head slammed into things, got forcibly pushed out of the house and locked out, my stuff stolen and smashed... He also did typical emotional bullying, but yeah...

[CANDC]

Baizyl, sorry you experienced emotional and physical abuse as a child. No one should have to put up with that. Hope you are in a safe place now.

People here at PC may also have a therapist to talk things out and a psychiatrist or psych doc to diagnose and prescribe meds to help balance things out.

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