[Cascade]

I realized that when bad things do happen, you don't really want to believe that they happened... These questions might very well seem pretty stupid from a normal point of view, or even my own point of view, normally. But I still feel it's neccesary for me to ask, just to clarify.

If some stranger masturbates in public transport, next to you - (in addition to "a crime" or highly inappropriate,) what do you call this?
Is this sexual abuse? Sexual assault?

What if someone you know and trust very well masturbates in the same room as you? Against your consent but without asking - probably not aware that you noticed? Regardless of why exactly they would do it I guess...
Is that sexual abuse too? Even if it only happened a few times over a couple of weeks and then never again?

I hesitated to post on the "Survivors of Abuse" forums, as the title seemed slightly imposing. I mean, no one touched me. It was just some stupid stranger sitting next to me. And err well someone important to me later on but that's... A bit more complicated, yeah I guess I'll send myself off to make a thread in the "Survivors of Abuse" forums tomorrow, if I find time for it.

[CANDC]

This topic might be better in the Sexual Issues forum.

Sexual and Gender Issues - Forums at Psych Central

If anyone makes you experience a sexual act of any kind against your will or without your permission, it could be considered abuse. Often people think abuse must have intent but could also be abuse if done unconsciously. Or maybe abusive would be a better term.

[amandalouise]

here in the USA we have 50 states. each of these states sets their own standards of what is called sexual abuse and what isnt...

here in NY sexual abuse is forcing someone to view, or perform sexual acts, forcing someone to listen to you talk to them in a sexual way, this includes but not limited to intercourse, oral sex, masturbation, viewing porn, texting sexually explicit pictures of one self or others (other wise known as sexting) making unwanted sexualized jokes and comments, forcing someone to prostitute, or perform sex acts in return for something or to keep their jobs..... here in New York State we have a broad definition and a whole mess of laws that cover various sexual abuse crimes.

to find out what is sexual abuse where you are located you can contact your local or nearest police department. Many states have a government website where you can also look up what your state considers to be sexual abuse, the justice/laws/statutes codes and jail time/prison terms for each sexual abuse crime.

[Tongalee]

Originally Posted by CANDC

This topic might be better in the Sexual Issues forum.

Sexual and Gender Issues - Forums at Psych Central

If anyone makes you experience a sexual act of any kind against your will or without your permission, it could be considered abuse. Often people think abuse must have intent but could also be abuse if done unconsciously. Or maybe abusive would be a better term.

I disagree. I think this is the appropriate place to put this question. You do not need to be touched to be sexually abused. Anytime someone does anything of a sexual nature that is against your will it can be considered a sexual crime. If a stranger masturbates in front of you he is assaulting you. Whether or not it is done with intent/malicious intent is, however, something to consider. If they didn't know you were in the room or were noticing from the seat over, it might change the way you view things. Obviously though, or perhaps not so obvious, if any if these actions are done to out around a child it is far more serious as it can be more damaging.

[Cascade]

Thank you for responding!

While the "Survivors of Abuse" title seemed a little imposing, the "Sexual and Gender Issues" title felt uncomfortable(?) in a different way. Due to the nature of the situation, in a way... I guess I really don't want to associate anything like my sexuality with that of a creepy strangers (or my fathers) sexuality. Particularily in the latter case, you especially don't want to associate their sexuality to yourself at all. To the point of wanting to think pretty much anything else happened but that.

I'm not really certain anything happened at all. But at the same time I realize that I desperately want to belive I'm wrong - because I wouldn't know what to do if it really happened either way. Heck, at this very moment I can sorta remember memories that "prove" it happened, but at the very same time my mind wants to cling to explanations and excuses. He's my father! He wouldn't do this to me! I must be seeing things because of those strangers before.

Because my mind always wants to think conveniently about this, I figured I could have some use of talking about it someplace. People I can tell this to irl aren't many. I've told one friend everything, and I've told my mother some of what happened. I haven't been able to bring myself to tell her too many details though, as it was simply too difficult for me. (I feared that she'd freak out and totally distance me from my father - When thinking about it, I really doubt that she'd do that. But somehow that fear/discomfort was there anyway.)

Once I find time to sit down and dump the whole story into a thread, I'll do it in this forum! c:

Originally Posted by Tongalee

Obviously though, or perhaps not so obvious, if any if these actions are done to out around a child it is far more serious as it can be more damaging.

... For the sake of specifying, what ages do "child" refer to in that setence?

[Tongalee]

[/QUOTE]... For the sake of specifying, what ages do "child" refer to in that setence?[/QUOTE]

I think that a child refers to any age where your legal and developmental ability to consent are not present.