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#1
Mar 12, 2015, 06:51 AM
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I'm an adult daughter (42 years old) of a narcissistic father who hurts everyone that he reels in and values none of us stupid enough to love him.
I just joined this forum because I'm dealing with a father who is an unprincipled, invulnerable narcissist and whom unfortunately for me I do (despite it being better not to) still love. I need to vent so there may be [triggers] He always sucker punches me, each and every time he seems to be relatively stable and I have no bother with him...that's when it all blows up in my face. The list is endless, but his latest debacle is aged 78 to have been found out by my stepmother as having had an affair for over 3 years with a woman that he has been sending money to. The first I knew was when my stepmother arrived at my house last weekend in terrible distress with photos and receipts that she had found. I was devastated for her. In short yet again I am disappointed in and ashamed of my father, I have had a lifetime of knowing that he wasn't like my friends fathers, of being too frightened to have friends stay over because of his unpredictable and violent rages. Of cringing when people realise that he was my father and immediately saying that I was more like my mother. He's 78 and he's never going to change. I phoned him at my stepmothers request, she needed me to believe her. He immediately started saying " what nonsense is she saying now? She gets confused" when confronted about the receipts he said "you don't understand what it's like for me, I've a right to be happy" I told him I wasn't interested in what he had to say, that I was not getting involved and hung up. I have avoided him since. I've not spoken to him for periods before but after a few weeks he starts phoning me, saying he's ill/sorry/in a terrible mess and that I'm his daughter and he loves me and please I must speak to him again as he cannot manage without me. So fool as I am I relent  I long ago learned to cope by giving up on him ever being the father that I needed and accepting him for who he was but like I said he always sucker punches me with a drama. The shoe always drops. I cannot afford to get involved as I have high blood pressure and when it was checked on Tuesday found to be 160/100. It was 155/95 a month before this and at that time I was put on BP medication, so it should have gone down, not up. I don't know what I'm going to do.
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Has OCD and Trichotillomania History of emotional abuse from a narcissistic father. Impulse control is not great either. Rubbish attention span...'Ooh Shiny!' Humour is what keeps me half sane  Also adores Pomeranians 
Last edited by Wren_; Mar 12, 2015 at 07:38 PM. |
 kaliope
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#2
Mar 13, 2015, 01:38 AM
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i am not a person who believes blood is thicker than water. my family was horrible. all they did was cause me pain. i decided a long time ago that there was really no law that said i had to be around them. i felt obligated to be a daughter,the good girl syndrome but it cause me so much stress that i finally said i was done. why was i forcing myself to deal with so much stress and hurt trying to make a man happy that i could never please, someone who always hurt me in so many ways. so i quit. let him know i was done and walked away from the relationship. i started healing shortly after that. this was the best choice for me. my mental health was more important than maintaining a toxic relationship.
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| dandylin
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#3
Mar 13, 2015, 07:09 AM
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My abuser was family and a narcissist too.
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| dandylin
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#4
Mar 13, 2015, 05:42 PM
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Quote:
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| Anonymous48220, dandylin, PomeranianMommy
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#5
Mar 14, 2015, 10:33 AM
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Thankyou, I'm going for limited supply as I feel that is achievable.
__________________
Has OCD and Trichotillomania History of emotional abuse from a narcissistic father. Impulse control is not great either. Rubbish attention span...'Ooh Shiny!' Humour is what keeps me half sane Also adores Pomeranians
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#6
Mar 16, 2015, 06:00 AM
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I unexpectedly met my father in town this morning. It did not go well. He was putting pressure on me to help him get back in the good graces of my stepmother, I told him that I was not getting involved. He immediately started saying that she was to blame, that she was unhinged. That I should not believe her.
In fact after my telling him that my blood pressure was 160/100 he responded with "you've done that to yourself", no concern for my welfare whatsoever. So I saw red and told him to F**k Off. I barely feel anything about this beyond guilt, I don't think I can easily feel any hurt about him any more. It's all burned out of me long ago or buried too deep.
__________________
Has OCD and Trichotillomania History of emotional abuse from a narcissistic father. Impulse control is not great either. Rubbish attention span...'Ooh Shiny!' Humour is what keeps me half sane Also adores Pomeranians
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| dandylin
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