[ThisWayOut]

I havn't been able to talk to anyone about some "new" abuse memories, and the person at the center of those memories will be visiting at the end of the month. I'm not quite sure how to handle it. I have tried to cut him out of my life as best I could because of other stuff, but other family members keep in touch with him. This will be his second visit since these suspiscions have surfaced. Last time I reacted pretty badly, but delayed (didn't hit till after the visit was over). I don't currently have a therapist (waiting on one to call from the agency) to either bounce ideas off of or to process anything...
I already know I will be staying away from him, but just the thought of him being close sets me on edge (he lives almost 2000 miles away). I can't exactly tell my mom why I don't want to see him or hear from/about him. I don't want to have to talk about the piecces of abuse I have not yet processed (and I don't want to get that look from her that conveys how pathetic she thinks I am, and how wrong my memories are)...
I have a whole host of coping skills, but this feels so overwhelming even without him around, I worry about when he does show...
I dunno. How do you deal with stuff like that?
There are times when I remember the abuse and it feels real and I "know" it happened (know I've known it all along but just stuffed it away like everything else), but there are other times when the flashbacks aren't happening that I doubt all of it and think I'm making it up. Looking at it from a distance, I can see how the pieces fit. But I don't think I want to believe it... and it's not like there's anyone I could ask. He would deny it even if it was true.
:/ I dunno...
Sorry. Not sure how to process this all.

[marmaduke]

Do you live near your mother, I mean do you HAVE to have anything to do with any of these toxic people?

[ThisWayOut]

I live with her at the moment...

[guilloche]

Hi ThisWayOut...

Is he going to be staying at your mom's place? Is there anyway for you to get away for a couple days (maybe stay with a friend)? Or can you plan some activities that will at least get you out of the house as much as possible? Like... spending time at the park, the library, maybe finding someplace to volunteer? Anything so that you put some physical distance between you and him?

If not, could you feign illness and lock yourself in your room for the duration? I think getting away would be a bit better (for me, I think I'd feel worse being stuck in the house with him). But if not, locking yourself in your room because you're "under the weather", "fighting off a cold", or "may have been recently exposed to some weird flesh-eating bacteria, and would hate to accidentally spread it to anyone else".... could at least help you minimize interactions?

And, I'm so sorry ThisWayOut. That's really awful timing with the new memories and you waiting for a new T. You shouldn't have to go through this, especially alone, and I wish there was more we could do to help.

[nicoleflynn]

How about telling the truth?