[coyotee]

My brother was a drug addict. He was an adult I was a kid when during one of his extreme highs, he molested me.

My dad is an alcoholic, one day was beyond drunk, I was a kid, he molested me.

Looking back, I don't think either one of them even remembers. I carried that alone with me for a long time. I love them both, I will never mention it to them.

In a bad argument once with my mother, I told her, blurted it out to hurt her. She didn't believe me, but threatened that she'd ask them if it was true. I told her I was lying, even though I wasn't. She didn't believe me anyway and I didn't want them to know, and I didn't really want to hurt her either. Even if I am the victim.

[nicoleflynn]

You might want to write a letter to the molesters...a letter of "restorative justice"---restorative justice says...this is what you did, this how it made me feel and decide to keep it or give it to them. Telling the truth is the best you can do.

[Frankbtl]

Hi coyotte, I'm really sorry you've had to go through that, but you're not a victim, you're a survivor
You know it's sounding to me, like you're giving them/their feelings way more consideration than you need to/should in comparison to what you've been through/your feelings.
I'm not telling you that you should tell them what happened, that can only be your choice/decision but they were still totally responsible for their actions if "only" by getting drunk enough/high enough to lead to them doing what they did, and they personally still did do what they did. So you really don't need to be protecting them from facing those/their actions.
But at least write the letters suggested by nicole even if you don't want to give/send them.......and write what you'd like to say, let it out, hey??
And definitely get some help/support for yourself it can be a lot to try to keep in, to face alone. But you know that anyway, right?
And you don't have to do it alone...........lots of support out there, and on here!!!
And about your dad being an alcoholic.............I'm guessing that's been/is pretty tough on you as well, maybe you could look into trying AlAnon for some support??
And maybe drop into ACoL forum here:
Adult Children of Alcoholics - Forums at Psych Central
I'm glad you're talking to us about it all though, sharing can help and you will find support with what you've been though/are going through on here........so welcome to PC!!

Alison