I don't know if this is the right place for this thread.

I identify as asexual. However, some people argue that asexuality is for people who haven't gone through rape/sexual abuse because asexuality is the lack of sexual desire for anyone else and "usually" people who go through rape/sexual abuse are "afraid" of sex, not lacking in sexual attraction.

Could that be true? Are sexual abuse victims usually afraid of sex?
Does asexuality stem from sexual abuse?

For me, the abuse happened when I was very young, before I knew what my sexual orientation was, so I don't know if I've always been asexual or if it's just what they say it is, a "fear" of sex

[lucami]

In my opinion you can be just born this way, or it may come from any abuse like emotional, physical, not only rape/sexual abuse.. my friend who has been raped by her cousin when she was about 14 is fine, she has a good boyfriend and has no problems with sex..
But I'm now in a point in which I don't know if I'm still asex or not, my mind is too messed up, but I had lack of sexual attraction for about 21 years of my life, even if I had no rape/sexual abuse ever.. anyway, I wouldn't call 'asexuality' as a 'fear of sex'

[mandehble]

Um, first of all, I'm really loving the OLLA theme.
Second, I don't think asexuality stems from sexual abuse. I think that there are asexuals who were sexually abused and perhaps that caused them to lean more toward asexuality than they would have otherwise. That's the boat I find myself in anyway. I identify as asexual and I do have a history of sexual trauma but even before the trauma, I was never a very sexual person to begin with. These days, I lean more toward being asexual when it comes to others and minimally sexual when it comes to myself and since I'm not hurting anyone, I don't see anything wrong with that. Anyway, that's my two cents on how I could relate.

[RainbowG]

Interesting question and tough to answer if you're an abuse survivor. Perhaps the difference is between a lack of interest in sex versus an aversion to sex, by which I mean anxiety related to it. I think it's perfectly possible to simply not have interest in sex even if you're an abuse survivor, but perhaps there's a higher chance that an asexual choice really covers up some unresolved issues from the abuse.

For instance, I've never been sexually active, and for years I simply wasn't interested in it. When I realized I'd been (covertly) sexually abused, I also realized that the whole topic of sex made me very uncomfortable. So I question whether I was really ever asexual (haven't resolved that yet), but I also don't consider myself abnormal for not being comfortable with sex in light of what happened to me.

I agree with lucami that discomfort relating to sex can come from any kind of abuse, not just molestation. I guess the way to decide is whether sex causes you anxiety. Note that the fact that the abuse happened to you when you were very young doesn't mean anything because the brain processes everything. The experience still affects you, though not necessarily with an aversion to sex.

Yikes, I hope I haven't come off here as preachy....

[seraphic]

I am in a similar position - I experienced sexual abuse when I was young, and have identified as asexual frequently throughout my life. (At the moment I don't, but I am also very afraid of and unhappy with the idea of having sex still.) Asexual people span a really broad spectrum of attitudes and behaviors towards sex: some are disgusted and repulsed by it, some are mildly annoyed, some just don't want it because it doesn't do anything for them, some don't care either way but have sex with partners regardless. Many asexual people are survivors of sexual trauma; many are not.

I personally think it's nonsense to say that being abused means you can't be asexual. It may be the case that the trauma you experienced contributed to your feelings about sex. It may not! But I don't think it matters either way. If identifying as asexual feels right and makes sense to you, then there's no reason at all not to.